2. Stars should tell you first when they get married or divorced. Hey, are you from the Civil Affairs Bureau? !
This is what diaosi does: you tell him to start a business, but he says he has no capital. You tell him your occupation, and he suspects that it is pyramid selling. You let him study, and he said it was brainwashing. You ask him to change it, and he says it's good so far. You let him try, and he said what if it doesn't work?
Dogs are actually very alert animals, and only when they are safe will they be full. If your dog can eat well, either it feels safe, or it trusts you, or it is imitating you.
It is said that life is a long-distance race, but more people's lives are actually an obstacle course.
6. Frivolity can only be washed away by two things, either a heavy disaster or an effort.
7. The speed of spending money after leaving my job made me understand that going to work is not to make money, but to let you attend classes without spending money. . .
8. Watching classmates and children grow up, the longer they grow, the uglier they get; I have nothing to say but praise silently in my circle of friends.
9. When I am sad, I open my wallet. There is nothing in my wallet. It is balanced. At least I have a wallet, but there is nothing in it.
10. Attention single diaosi: If there are male friends around you who are gay, please encourage them to tolerate them. We should break the traditional secular concept, because once they become, they can save two sisters and give you Amitabha! ! !
1 1. I will hold a banquet and wedding in Shangri-La Hotel, Beijing. Prepare the wedding banquet, waiting for your arrival! I hope you can tell each other. I'll tell you the exact year.
12. The main reason for human progress is that the next generation does not listen to the words of the previous generation.
13. I believe I am who I am. I believe that tomorrow, I believe I can reach for the money. -A beggar's dream
14. I will dog myself three times a day, once poor, once tired and once sleepy!
16. The recent portrayal of life is: walk a hundred steps after dinner and have a good appetite after dinner.
17. The little ones are hidden in the city, and the big ones are hidden under the covers.
18. observation shows that most people who love to sleep late accomplish nothing, while those who can persist in getting up early are in poor spirits all day.
19. There is no hate and love for no reason in this world, only self-portraits for no reason.
20. I like going to the bank in summer. First, I went to see the air conditioner. Second, I went to see the balance. My body and mind will suddenly be much cooler.
2 1. I once threatened that I would rather die of heat than be frozen into a dog at a low temperature of MINUS 20 degrees. Until today, I have been heated into a dog, and I still don't understand that beautiful promise, because I am too young.
22. Sister, I spent more than an hour on my make-up, and I went out for a while without makeup.
23. All the people who can ask me out in summer are friends of life and death.
24. It's not innocence that beats me, it's innocence.
25. The room I rent is a monthly sauna.
26. The biggest purpose of finding a girlfriend in summer is to play with her aboveboard.
27. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. What does this sentence mean? Being an old driver is better than letting an old driver lead you.
28. Classical Chinese is much more elegant than vernacular Chinese. For example, cleaning your vagina is much more elegant than cleaning your vagina.
29. What snacks can I eat when I lose weight?
30. Boys will get extra points for cooking, which is actually a false proposition. The key is to look at their faces Even if Song Joong Ki can't even find a meal, he can't wait to get extra points, but Wu Dalang can make baked wheat cakes. Do you want to add?
3 1. Some girls don't look weak, but sometimes they are really heartless. It takes an afternoon to fill a shopping cart carefully and then empty it.
32. I have long wanted to eat barbecue hot pot, so I won't go if I say no.
33. The travel routes that have been planned with great efforts are deleted. . .
34. And these girls all have one thing in common: no boyfriend.
35. Good-looking people can forgive any mistakes they make!
36. I disagree with this. How can a good-looking person make mistakes?
After a long time, you will find that a man's appearance really doesn't matter. What is important is that he has wisdom in his head, responsibility in his heart and a lot of money.
Pay attention to telling funny stories with connotations.
1. Sister, why do you go to the toilet and there is blood in it?
2. You look like a person. Nonsense, am I still like a dog?
I have a little donkey that never rides. One day I rode it on a whim to catch chickens.
4. My world, I am the protagonist, and I decide who to play with.
5. Crazy as the wind, love and hate.
6. A sister asked me what SM meant. I was embarrassed to say it, so I told her it meant insomnia, and then she changed her signature to SM, which I used frequently recently.
7. I hope you don't pretend to be B when you cherish it.
8. I play computer too much. I want to watch TV quickly.
9. I accidentally ate a pencil and had to swallow another eraser.
10. Alas, if this person is out of shape, even his headache is partial.
1 1. In your mother's eyes, you only have two ages, how old and how old, and these two ages may cross.
12. Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment, I say one word silently: Fried.
13. I hate a word abbreviation in my life! Especially when you can't do the problem!
14. Those who can act are good students, because they know the world and are precocious.
15. The alarm clock wakes me up every morning, but my body would rather die than surrender, so I still sleep until noon.
16. A wrong hand-holding and an absurd decision made a devil's soul.
17. No matter how enthusiastic your eyes are, you can't hit the blind.
18. Only the sky will not be taken away by anyone. As long as I raise my head, he will always accompany me.
19. Your name is so common that my heart will shake when I hear it.
20. Some boys are handsome when they roll up their trouser legs, while others roll up like catching fish.
2 1. Think of yourself as someone else. Life is destined to experience many joys and sorrows. Only by treating yourself as someone else will you not be crazy in the face of happy events and not be sad in the face of difficulties. Life will also involve fame and fortune. Only by treating yourself as others will you not be tired of fame and fortune, moved by interests, trapped by officials and annoyed by feelings.
22. I am a different color fireworks. He is two yuan a bunch.
23. Those hurdles that can't be crossed are not just because of short legs!
24. What can make a woman disfigure quickly? Take Mito Xiu Xiu out of her phone.
25. If one day, you see Mona Lisa crying, that means I don't love you.
26. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix in kindergarten.
27. When summer comes, I know that staying in a cool place is really not an abusive word.
28. The expression that doesn't belong to me bothers me again.
29. It's really hard not to read novels and use the mobile phone toilet.
I would like to be your teacher and show you how to explain it with your hands.
3 1. Brothers generally say that you can't sing the whole tone, but it's worse to compete with you for the microphone in KTV than anyone else.
32. The girl who lacks a date comes to me. I'm Lei Feng.
If you wake up, don't forget to cover your roommate with a quilt. After June, there will be no chance.
34. Happiness is finding a crumpled 100 yuan in the pocket of worn-out jeans when there is no money.
35. A pole knocked over a boatload of people. A boatload of people are birds.
36. Even if you are eight years old, you should sit on the bus first!
I still feel sleepy after taking sleeping pills last night. What happened? I am not sleepy at night. Can't sleep during the day. Don't want to; Don't ask; Don't look; Why are you still so tired?
38. The pinyin for sleep is sleep, and the pinyin for insomnia is asbestos. I can't sleep at night because I miss you.
39. Black is black, you are beautiful; Life is sad, you are not tired; Double the difficulty, it doesn't matter if you are here; Sleep peacefully, just because you are around. On wife's day, I only wish our love life is the most beautiful.
40. People who say good night to bed are often still in a daze after half an hour.
A funny story with connotation.
1. Snow White's story tells us that even seven diaosi can't compare with Gao Fu Shuai 1 kiss!
Don't say you love me very much. You can take me to see your parents during the Spring Festival.
Don't be infatuated with me, because I'm just a legend. Don't be infatuated with elder sister, she will make you vomit blood after removing makeup.
Don't think that you can play Mercedes-Benz in the street by driving a tractor.
5. Commitment is like XX, but you can't do it.
6. Eat steamed buns. Eat kimchi. The rest of the money is used for dating.
7. In the spring morning, I woke up easily and yawned at home. I can't sleep at night and I can't wake up during the day.
8. They are all real people, so why pretend to be pure? The world is so chaotic, who is pretending to be pure?
9. A man who is not good to women will become a seven-dimensional space in his next life.
10. It is not necessarily actors who can act, but those who can pretend to be grandchildren.
1 1. I suggest you know my appearance first, then appreciate it.
12. My inspirational goal when I entered high school was to be a principal. As a result, I studied in high school for a month, so I wanted to quit!
13. Confucius said: sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Laozi said: Confucius is right.
14. The teacher always says that I swear and stink. Can you sit next to the trash can and keep your mouth from stinking?
15. Every time I see you, I naturally pose as an Altman.
16. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!
17. You are still dreaming, you are still in pain, and the memories are so heavy, how can you recite them? In love, I will not leave. If you miss it, you won't come back.
18. You are more thorough than anyone, pretending to be naive than anyone else.
19. You know, under my tough skin, I am a fragile person.
20. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.
2 1. Women always talk about their men together, and men always talk about other people's women together.
22. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.
23. Please don't interrupt the TV series during the advertisement.
24. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!
25. Good and evil are rewarded. You rob my man, just wait and see, I rob your man.
26. I always want to play computer at school, but I can only stare blankly at the computer during holidays.
27. Life is like a box of chocolates. I never know how much I can gain weight by eating one more.
28. A tree dies without a skin, and a man has no face and is invincible. What are you afraid of losing face?
29. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in one word: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.
30. It will get dark and people will change. Three points favor, seven points cheat.
3 1. There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.
32. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, but I'm afraid of rebounding.
33. We live in pain because we make others happy.
34. Let me count by hand. I am destined to be your husband.
35. I control my low profile with a smile, and control your screaming with a low profile!
36. The class bell sounds better than the national anthem, and the class bell is more tense than it.
37. Go ahead, hold your head high, face higher requirements, and stand up to the North Nose _ Challenge If You Are the One.
38. If the teacher didn't say you can't litter, I would throw you out.
39. Behind a successful man, there is a supportive woman, and behind a failed man, there is a naughty woman.
40. There is a loaf of bread. I was hungry when I walked, so I ate by myself.
4 1. The most I said to my deskmate in my life is: Hey, lend me your homework.
42. Happy birthday to me! I hope my future daughter-in-law will find me, and we will quickly register for marriage and have children.
43. There are always a few people. The whole class laughed as soon as the teacher told them to get up and answer questions.
Attractive circle of friends, funny talk, super humorous funny talk.
1. Lend me 200 yuan to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, curb the disparity between the rich and the poor, put an end to social division, stabilize social order and promote Socialism with Chinese characteristics's modernization!
2. There is always one for you: ugly but introverted, poor and idolized. Friends don't love home very much, and women are crazy. Fools don't work hard, idlers look forward to the peak. Fat women eat too much, and being single is always melodramatic.
There is always someone who just smiles at you and hits you. God replied: for example, the class teacher outside the window?
4. At home, I still insist on surfing the Internet when I have a fever, and sneezing at school thought it was terminal cancer.
The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu and set foot on the road. Suddenly looking back and looking around, there are countless uncles and aunts. Occasionally, beautiful women patronize, or married women, and most of the rest are basically ugly.
6. I heard that the mobile phone will radiate under the pillow, which scared me to throw away the pillow immediately.
7. We used to be husband and wife, but now we are mobile phones. A mobile phone in hand, forever. The mobile phone is not in hand, and there is no soul.
8. If you feel sick, don't check on Baidu. Make a will after every inspection.
9. I can stay up with you and advise you to go to bed early, but the best state is that we sleep together.
10. Now find Prince Charming. You are out. Now find Prince BMW.
1 1. I can't lengthen the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. You only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.
12. When I was young, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never starve to death. So my mother taught me to eat.
13. Breaking up is boring. Divorce if you can.
14. Actually, when I was a child, I was very thin and not fat at all, but later the phrase "no leftovers" ruined my life.
15. My ex-boyfriend is getting married. He called me and asked me if I would go. I gave him a decisive answer: next time.
16. I eloped in spring and autumn and stole my kiss with ice cream in summer!
17. When I'm not around, go home as soon as you go out. Don't be too late. Seriously, someone has been stealing dogs recently. I'm afraid something will happen to you.
18. I was going to lose weight as a lightning bolt this year and blind your eyes, but I didn't want to become a nut wall and block your view.
19. Some things, some people, some scenery, once looked at each other, even for a moment, are eternal.
20. Learn to bask in the sun, the goddess takes a selfie, the local tyrant basks in money, the model basks in the body, Lao Tzu wants to bask in the sun, and it rains every day!
2 1. I know you are all learning to drive, and now I dare not cross the road.
22. Remember to smile all the time, which will make you look like a psycho who can't be provoked casually.
23. The high temperature in summer made me thoroughly understand the greatness of that famous saying. Let the storm come more violently!
24. In summer, we have been on and off for so many years, because of this. Can't you bend the rules and calm down? !
25. Don't talk about quitting smoking and drinking. You are always deceiving yourself.
26. When everyone is low-key, they can be high-key, but they can't be out of tune.
27. Women's childhood life was naughty. She grew up in Taobao, worked for Jin, married for Mi, and was eliminated when she was old. Women, act quickly while you are still young.
28. Most people's current state is: they can't learn, can't play, can't sleep well, they are all wrong and eat too much.