When people reach middle age, all kinds of problems will appear, and we also have a midlife crisis. So what are the good ways to deal with the midlife crisis? The following is a good way for you to deal with the midlife crisis. Welcome to reading.

Parent-child crisis: spend more time with others and don't be rude.

Who wouldn't believe it? Laugh at the world? Chairman Wang was stumped by a child of 15 years old. He poured all his hopes into his son, who ate and used the best food, hoping that the child would be obedient and disappointing in the future and inherit his career. But in junior high school, children seem to be more and more rebellious, their academic performance is getting worse and worse, and their tutors have changed several times without improvement.

Psychoanalysis: Many middle-aged people with successful careers take it for granted that children should? Heredity? My own excellent quality, so according to my own ideas, I put forward strict requirements for my children from an early age, carefully cultivated them, and even ignored their personality and characteristics. As we all know, no matter how strong the working ability is, for anyone, raising children is a process of starting from scratch and making progress while groping.

In fact, for today's children, the companionship of parents is the most important. Especially adolescent children, often feel lonely, neglected and even use some? Weird? A way to attract attention. Therefore, no matter how busy they are, parents should take time out to play with their children every week, such as having a picnic in the park and going for an outing in the suburbs. You can also use birthdays and other opportunities to invite your child's friends to your home to know what kind of people he is in contact with in time. Even if you don't agree with your child's request, ask a few more questions and don't refuse rudely.

Faith crisis: realizing the wishes of the year

With a decent job, a good income and a stable family, Zhang Yuxiang, 45, is not rich, but she is also very comfortable. However, the seemingly perfect scenery did not make his heart rich and peaceful. Outsiders look at everything, but he often feels empty and bored, and he doesn't know who he is fighting for and what he wants to pursue for half his life. Are you old or depressed?

Psychoanalysis: American psychologist Eliot? Jacques found that people have a sense of self-responsibility in adolescence and early adulthood, such as setting goals for themselves, finding a good job and building a good family. And this feeling usually lasts for 20? 25 years of life full of confidence, passion and creativity. And what will happen when people reach middle age and realize the goal they have been eager to pursue, plus begin to realize the inevitability of death? Can't find the meaning of life? Feeling, looking at a loss and fear. So the crisis of middle age actually comes from the crisis of faith.

In fact, life can't be as preoccupied with reaching the destination as it is in a hurry, and neglect to appreciate the scenery on the roadside. The connotation of life should be rich, not limited to career and family. You can read some books on philosophy and art to enrich your spiritual world. Besides, pay more attention to your inner needs and explore your hobbies, such as photography and hiking. Fulfill the wishes that you couldn't realize when you were young and expand your life? Width? .

What should I do if the midlife crisis comes early?

First of all, live well.

I went to the hospital for a physical examination not long ago. I waited in line all morning, and most of the people in front of me were pregnant women. Finally, it was my turn. I solemnly told the doctor: help me check for liver cancer, kidney disease, uterine fibroids and so on? .

The kind doctor aunt like the virgin was shocked: how can there be something wrong with such a villain?

Have a good check. The report shows that everything is normal, and I am really healthy? Little people? .

I just want to go out and touch my report card. Knowing that my kidneys and uterus are healthy, I feel very surprised to earn 5 million yuan, so I have to spend some money to celebrate.

When you are depressed, traumatized and hit, go to the hospital for a physical examination to see how much you are still worth. Or go to the inpatient department, it will definitely rekindle your love for life, and you will be deeply grateful that God didn't throw you in and lie down.

Of course, it is also a good idea to go to the cemetery often, as long as you are mentally strong enough.

So, what difficulties can't be overcome?

There are many misfortunes in this world every moment, and the probability of a tumor breeding is not much lower than sneezing.

When I was young, I never thought about being born and sick. It seems that I am far away from myself. When you are in your thirties and forties, you will also be called by a sweet-mouthed clerk when you go shopping. Little girl? But I clearly understand that the parabola of vitality development has begun to show signs of downward exploration.

So I feel more and more that having a good body is the capital to support all bad news.

These disappointments are gradually accepted and resolved in this well-run institution.

And those things called wisdom and perception grow slowly in the body with age.

Actually, life is wonderful. It gives us not only beauty and emotion, but also temporary gloom and sadness that set off these beauty and emotions. It is these gloomy clouds that make us know how to cherish blessings and understand tolerance.

Second, eternal life.

I like to eat cakes on my birthday, but I never buy numbers made of candles. I don't want to remember the age on the cake.

I don't want to know what a woman should look like at any age. If you can't learn to be dignified and elegant all your life, you can take care of your children crazily when you are old. It is also interesting to be an old and dishonest grandmother.

Women should constantly hypnotize themselves: my girl's heart will always be eighteen! Inexperience is a secret weapon to protect physical and mental health and face value.

Of course, what is more scientific than self-hypnosis is an ageless living method: breaking through the age limit, opening the boundaries of psychological territory and meeting interesting people scattered at both ends of the age curve.

I like to chat with friends after 70 and 60. They make me respect and love.

Some of them have suffered from emotional crisis, health challenges and family changes. In the difficulties that I thought they couldn't get through at all, they remained indifferent and always maintained their enthusiasm for life.

They told me that life is short, we should respect our true feelings, remember the power of kindness and beauty, and be indifferent to worldly troubles.

I also like to chat with my younger brothers and sisters born after 90. They are energetic and infectious.

There is a girl who hasn't graduated from Peking University, and she works as an intern in an awesome fashion magazine, which is a glamorous career envied by countless girls.

However, she is not hot-blooded, even unusually calm. She said that she is not infatuated with the light brought by this job, and she is more concerned with the trend and essence of this industry.

She has many plans. She pays attention to the Internet and new media, and insists on writing in her spare time, accumulating words and materials. She deliberately exercises her various abilities and should be able to switch freely between different industries in the future.

She also said that she should be able to buy a house in Beijing as soon as possible.

She asked me:? Is it too realistic to have a clear goal like me?

I was surprised and told her that if I had such a clear outlook on life when I was ten years younger, I would have avoided a lot of unnecessary troubles and hardships.

I didn't expect the post-90s, who are much younger than me, to become so mature and steady. When I was their age, I was often pushed forward by fate and rarely took the initiative to make a choice.

Another post-90 s sister said to me: In fact, our post-90 s generation is very controversial. But personally, I feel that no matter what the outside world says about us, it is most important to be who we like and not conflict with other things. ?

You're right. Be your favorite self. What crime did you commit?

They are true and brave, and they can be dismissive or devoted. If you like it, fight for it, and if you give it, you won't regret it.

Thanks to these people from different ages, they often give me thought-provoking insight and the softness and wisdom of still water.

Third, let go of resentment.

A reader friend told me privately that she was unhappy. She has been taking care of the children at home since she gave birth. After being sad with her mother-in-law and husband for countless times, she got thyroid cancer six years later.

I deeply regret her situation and feel secretly afraid. Unhappy marriage is so destructive to a person.

I got in touch with her and asked about her on WeChat.

She told me: I am very unhappy today. Neither my father nor my sister came to see me after my operation. My stepmother won't let my father come to see me for fear of giving gifts. It really hurts my father's heart! I can't take care of the children now, so I have to send them back to their hometown first. ?

I think her family situation is a bit complicated, and I can feel her tone. This kind of victimization complex must have a long history.

The cold reception and injustice she suffered in this family accumulated in her heart and gradually turned into pain and lump in her body.

Even after her illness, she didn't realize that the root cause of all this was that she was too obsessed with the way others treated her, always dragged down and troubled by the surrounding emotions, but failed to make substantive changes on her own initiative.

I tried to comfort her, and she said happily, I'm glad you can listen to me and I'm satisfied to tell you something from my heart. ?

What a simple person she is. I, a stranger, stopped to listen to her, only said a few words of comfort, and she was filled with joy.

If my husband can listen to her more on weekdays? Nagging? Give her more tolerance and comfort when she is depressed, and she won't have to suffer from cancer?

How difficult is it for us to keep warm every day as easy as blowing off dust?

Need love, love, originally from human instinct. But because the years are too long, I miss every day, and because I am too close to each other, I pretend that I can't see each other's hidden pain.

The cruelest person is the one who is closest to you, but turns a blind eye to your hard courtship.

However, the most cruel thing is ourselves after all. We are addicted to the game of expecting others to give us charity.

Let go of resentment, not for others, but for yourself. This is the real problem of self-interest.

Here is a question worth discussing: If you are really on the verge of despair, or if you are unfortunately hit by probability and meet love rat, you can only let go of your resentment. Is amitabha full of compassion and humiliation?

Like marriage, divorce is a basic right given to every citizen by law. If so, don't read the article. Go out and turn left. Please consult a law firm.

Whether you give up your heartfelt expectation for that person or formally break the contract between you, your health is your decision.

If you are determined to give up one road and take another, the best way is to stay on the road.

From now on, don't sacrifice for affection. Usually, such women are not very happy.

Remember that life is short, better and more real than time.

Fourth, you can play.

People often tell me that I don't know how to find what I like to do. In fact, this is more of an instinct, and you can realize your interest and love for things. If you can't find it, maybe it's because you're not relaxed enough.

I remember not long after giving birth, I once passed by Artest Jichuan Pavilion by car, and I really wanted to learn boxing at that time.

But during that time, my mental state was very tense, and I was bound by a sense of responsibility and dedication all day. In the face of inner yearning, I still convince myself with reason and inertia: how is it possible? Where is the time? What does that leisure have to do with me?

I passed by and hesitated in front of the boxing hall for three years, but I didn't have the motivation to go in. It was not until three years later that I passed by there again, accidentally walked in, met a very good teacher and had a good chat. The next day, I prepared clothes and shoes and began to practice with Master.

It turns out that all this can be so easy.

In the process of practicing, I found myself in love with the feeling of talking to my body. In that time and space, you will forget the real depression and trouble, immerse yourself in the slow change of one trick and one style, and practice until you don't want to go home every time.

Most of the people I practice with are 40+. I am honored to be the youngest student among them. I am often infected by their diligence and enthusiasm, and dare not slack off.

I like the huge silence formed by many people together in the practice room. Everyone concentrates on their own world, holding their breath and forgetting things.

One of the effective ways to deal with the middle-aged crisis: find interesting things to do and indulge in them, especially those games that are helpful to the body, which are worth exploring.

It is said that goblins always cry at night and laugh during the day.

After a short period of drunkenness, Xiao S, an unemployed woman who was ridiculed for her mansion, quickly devoted her enthusiasm to the vigorous dance career.

She practices Zumba, the most popular fitness course in the world, with hot and sexy dance.

Let the enthusiasm spread like wildfire, dilute the boredom of the past, and continue the fire called youth in the joy of wild horses.

What's wrong with being thirty? Forty. What's the matter? Still a girl, always a girl. Although the sky were to fall, the girl was happy that she was always young.

Fifth, light life.

As a brainless girl, like many people, I am infatuated with a handsome uncle like Wu Xiubo. From studying uncle's appearance, figure and acting skills to understanding uncle's spiritual realm and soul cultivation.

For example, uncle is a vegetarian.

Uncle once ate a bowl of white rice on the plane until he burst into tears. I can't forget this detail for a long time. I have made up my mind to be a vegetarian, and I want to experience things in my uncle's world.

But babies should be breastfed when they are young. As a filial and loyal cow, I breast-fed for two years and seven months, and there was no suitable opportunity to be a vegetarian.

I've been thinking about this again recently. It happened that a friend around me attended a meditation camp and changed from a rebel who doubted everything to a yogi who meditated regularly, became a vegetarian for a long time and crossed the valley regularly.

His story shocked me, so I decided to try myself.

Miraculously, perhaps because the psychological construction period was long enough, I ate vegetarian food effortlessly this time.

Eating lightly is an interesting experience.

You will find that people don't need so much food every day, and overeating is just an inertia and desire. Desire can be established or broken. It was originally established out of thin air with your permission.

Another remarkable feeling is that I have a better understanding of the taste of food.

Without oil and meat, it may be boring at first. After a continuous period of time, you can slowly chew the fragrance of tofu, vegetables and white rice. The taste of these foods is ignored on weekdays.

Eating has also become more and more focused.

For several years, I couldn't swallow anything without watching video or TV while eating. I guess, most of the popular TV dramas, variety shows and reality shows in China are widely spread during people's meal time.

After eating lightly, I have no intention of following lively TV programs. Immerse yourself in eating, feel the taste of food, and feel whether your stomach is full. There are more opportunities to contact yourself, so there is no leisure to pay attention to other things.

Vegetarianism also has a social benefit: it is very likely to make an ordinary person full of personality and gain recognition. Maybe you will have a unique personality in the crowd because of this little persistence.

If you feel a little bored occasionally, try being a vegetarian, which will be a good way to increase your personal charm.

I used to feel a little hungry at five or six in the afternoon. If I can't find something to eat soon, I'll eat like crazy until dinner time.

The consequence of every compensatory eating is screaming while covering your stomach, and dinner is the most difficult to digest. I painfully decided to save my big belly, so I used light fruit and vegetable juice instead of dinner.

Before you know it, the evening becomes leisurely, because it saves time to prepare dinner and clear the table. While reading and playing with my mobile phone, I solved the dinner.

I asked my meditation friend, what is the biggest feeling after eating lightly? He simply said, my heart has also been purified.

I'm impressed.

The process of aging is also a process of accumulating food burden and emotional garbage, so that the body and mind can go into battle lightly. At least, you can grow old slowly.

Sixth, think less and do more, and ask for trouble.

Mr. Jiang Yang has a famous saying: Young man, your problem mainly lies in not reading much, but in thinking too much.

What Mr. Wang means is that thinking, wishful thinking and daydreaming are not good for people, so it is better to spend more time enriching your heart and soul.

I often meet friends who ask me to recommend books, many of whom are wives and mothers struggling in emotional quagmire. I know that they want to transcend the impetuousness and fragility on the surface of life and achieve inner peace and harmony.

For the pursuit of happiness, women have always felt more keenly. In reality, it is often women who have to face more hardships and choices.

But can books save suffering?

Knowledge and skills can be learned, but the wisdom to understand pain cannot be found only in books.

Often the description in the book shows us a better and more passionate realm. You read it, rejoice, lament and cheer. Back in my own life, those old wounds come back and the pain is still there.

If we only pursue reading the event itself, it is just a mental activity. Instantly, my thoughts are thousands of miles away, shuttling between heaven and earth and touring Kyushu. When I dream, I wake up and look around. Tears wet my blue, and life goes on.

I feel more and more that books are used for doing things, practicing with the body, pursuing with words, practicing with experience, and practicing with my own eyes and ears.

If you just read more books, you can't really help yourself. I'd rather see less, but I have to go deep, where there will be a vast world.

Life is not just reading, but also a reader, so there is plenty of time to explore the fresh and interesting world.

Many people care about making money. Actually, it also emphasizes action.

If possible, make money calmly and let money enrich our lives. Ass determines the brain, and economic status affects the level and mode of thinking. It is difficult to ask people in danger to take a long-term view.

Put the sad and depressed time into the career and work, and find a state of concentration and enjoyment, which will be a pleasure of material and spiritual return.

One day, your achievements will bear fruit, and when you look back, the troubles that you think are hard to solve in death will disappear.

Because trouble is the product of the mind.

Recently, after listening to Director Zhao Yicheng's exposition of the Heart Sutra, there is a very important point. He said: the reality around us is not nonexistent, but untenable. ?

Many people misunderstand Buddha's theory? Everything is empty? It is absurd to think that everything is empty and does not exist. Reality already exists. How can we turn a blind eye and pretend that it doesn't exist?

So-called? Empty? More refers to our feelings, visions and judgments about sex, which is not correct. What we do is not what things really are.

The same is true of worry. If it has no attributes, it may be emptiness.

When dealing with troubles, you don't need to rely on crazy reading. The key is whether you can throw yourself into a good book and thoroughly understand and change it, even if you just study a few sentences and touch a word.

Don't be obsessed with reading, that's the so-called good habit. Sometimes it's a powerless escape.

Reading is just a bridge. Our goal is never a bridge, but the other side.

Dependence on books is not necessarily an illusion. In fact, where did the book save you? It was not the author who saved you, but you, who finally wanted to believe in your own strength.

So, it's not that I wrote this article that brought benefits, but that your effective response and unique wisdom made these words meaningful. Otherwise, what's the difference between these words and a pile of garbage?

The person who turns mud into diamonds is ourselves.

The people who decide the quality of life are ourselves.

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