Listen to the story with your left ear: On April 30, 2020, a people's court in a city in Zhejiang sentenced Zhang Jiang (a pseudonym) to four years' imprisonment for intentional homicide.

2065438+09101On the evening of October 28th, Zhangjiang suddenly heard his wife say that she was going to the gym to exercise. When he heard this, he was very angry. It turned out that before this, he found his wife having an affair with Chen Qiang (a pseudonym), a gym coach. Now listening to his wife say that she is going to the gym, Zhang Jiang thinks she must be looking for an opportunity to meet Chen Qiang again.

Zhang Jiang, who ran away from home in anger, became more and more angry. His mind is full of pictures of his wife and "three men" This scene filled the brain and made Zhang Jiang so angry that his heart was in his throat. He can't restrain his impulse. He went to the store to buy a hammer and went to the gym to get back at Chen Qiang.

On the way, he also bought two bottles of white wine. After drinking, he became increasingly difficult to control himself. When I got to the gym, I was called to Chen Qiang and dragged away by others. He has been red-eyed, threatening to kill Chen Qiang. Finally, being forced away by others, Chen Qiangcai was able to save his life.

After being arrested, Zhang Jiang woke up and regretted his impulsive behavior, but it was too late.

Because the victim expressed his understanding of Zhangjiang's criminal behavior, his family remitted 40 thousand yuan in compensation, and the court gave him a lighter punishment according to law and sentenced Zhangjiang to 4 years in prison.

Right ear answering machine: In fact, there are always some problems in marriage. But only cheating, especially cheating wife, is more likely to ruin your marriage.

First of all, cheating is the ultimate betrayal of marriage, and everyone who has experienced it knows how devastating it is. Secondly, influenced by the traditional culture of China, men are more likely to return to their families when they cheat, and women who cheat are basically driven out.

However, as shown in the previous case, it is definitely the most wrong solution for the husband to find his wife ashamed of blizzard after cheating. In the end, the husband punished himself for his wife's fault and got four years' imprisonment and 40 thousand yuan's compensation.

After Zhangjiang found out that his wife was cheating, why did Zhangjiang take a hammer to seek revenge from a third party? From a psychological point of view, anger, impulsiveness, pain and loss of reason are all trauma after normal reaction. But people are not animals after all, so we should understand the restrained emotions and face them correctly.

To learn to face it correctly, we must first understand what kind of dangerous psychology a man will have when he finds his wife cheating.

First, seek revenge from a third party.

This is generally what all deceived people want to do most. People who are cheated often think that the reason why their lover is cheated is to be seduced by the other party. This is actually a self-protection mechanism of human inner instinct. Only by denying the betrayal of your lover can you reduce the harm.

Of course, due to physiological reasons and differences in self-esteem, when a wife encounters an affair with her husband, she usually only wants to tear up the mistress, while her husband usually takes extreme violence, just like Zhang Jiang in this case. But because of such behavior, it can only be both sides.

Second, domestic violence against the wife.

Men are generally a strong group in marriage. Once their wives are "cuckolded", their anger can be imagined. Some men may vent this injury in the form of violence against their wives.

Some are verbal violence, laughing at his wife, beating and cursing; Some are sexual violence, either not living a husband-and-wife life with their wives or committing violent acts; Have a plenty of cold violence, ignoring his wife for a long time; What's more, it is violence, wife abuse and beating.

However, no matter what kind of violence, it is not good for solving the problem except escalating the contradiction between husband and wife.

Third, self-harm

This kind of man is usually sensitive. In their inner world, emotion is the most important. The betrayal of their wives may make them suffer great psychological challenges and thus fall into an irresistible predicament.

In this case, the husband either hurts himself in order to get a temporary vent; Or you will suffer psychologically, for example, when you are sad, depressed and not interested in anything, so

Lose hope in life.

There is also an extreme, that is, giving up on yourself and retaliating against his wife's derailment with his own derailment.

Psychological damage is terrible, because heart disease is invisible and intangible, but it is the most difficult to treat.

The above three kinds of dangerous psychology are most likely to appear after the husband finds out that his wife is cheating, and they should be resolutely avoided. Although we are victims as cheaters, the more painful we are, the more we have to save ourselves. The above three kinds of psychology, in addition to making the injury deeper, have no benefit to themselves.

So, what should a husband do to avoid the above three kinds of mentality when he finds out that his wife is cheating?

Calm; calm

When this happens, everyone will lose control. Therefore, you can give yourself a space to vent your emotions, but this space should be safe. For example, find a trustworthy friend and sit together and chat. Or find an empty room to hide in and cry. In short, don't suppress your emotions too much, and let yourself calm down gradually after venting appropriately.

analyse

Generally speaking, a wife's infidelity is due to problems in their marriage. When she finds that something in her marriage can't satisfy her, she will go outside to find comfort. In this case, find a safe place to spend the initial anger stage. Then calmly think about what's wrong with their marriage and why their wives go out to find other men.

If you are calm enough at this time, you can discuss this problem with your wife. Knowing what your wife really thinks will help you make your next decision.

decision

Understand the reason why his wife cheated, and then measure whether he can accept his wife again. Make sure you still love her and are willing to accept her. If you still love her, then consider the next marriage. Can you solve the marriage problem that caused her to cheat? If you don't love her, you can consider getting a divorce.

consult

If the marriage continues, then the two should calmly negotiate how to solve the following problems, such as that she and the other party should end completely and how to compromise each other's marriage problems.

If the marriage cannot continue, issues such as child support and property distribution also need to be resolved through consultation. Once you decide to divorce, don't forget to collect evidence of your wife's infidelity, because the wife, as the wrong party, should consider this in the distribution of property.

In short, after the wife cheated, the husband must face it rationally. Because life is your own, if a person doesn't love himself and think about himself, isn't that a loss of sesame seeds and watermelon?