Its main group is referred to by the abbreviation BDSM itself:
Binding-discipline (B/D), domination-obedience (D/S), sadism and abuse (S/M).
Although the description or translation is slightly inappropriate, it is generally correct.
When I say sm, I mean ds most of the time. Generally speaking, ds is basically learned from literary works, movies and TV plays or a hospital, and these channels are often distorted and imperfect.
For example, excessive YY (meaning Y), such as excessive beautification, such as conscious misleading. So today I will briefly introduce the whole process of DS.
After dom and sub contact, if they decide to establish a long-term relationship, there will be a plan.
Generally speaking, there are observation (early understanding), beginning (persuading and obeying the sub by some means), training (implementing adjustment scheme for the deviation of the sub) and regression (relaxing the bondage means to let the sub return to an unimpeded normal life).
Perhaps most people don't know these three steps, and most of the training is still limited to the first stage. Few people can enter the second stage. Very few people really reach the third stage and end it.
Of course, this does not mean that all dom and sub have these three stages. This will be a long process. Many times we often mention that sub does not need control, and control may be just a means. What sub really needs is a cure.
Explain it in detail below.
We know that dom and sub generally have a certain degree of psychological deviation. Let's not talk about Dom's psychological deviation for the time being. Talking about sub's psychological deviation often leads to emotional loss and deformity without pursuing positive relief or compensation.
For example, the sense of dependence on dom includes the sense of dependence on people, the sense of dependence on dom's control behavior and the sense of dependence on punishment. There is also a sense of belonging, which is also a manifestation of emotional lack.
The dependence and belonging of Sub is actually an emotional substitute. The main reason is that sub's psychological deviation will make the subject have bad emotions, such as anxiety, anxiety and self-doubt. It pursues all kinds of psychological compensation or anxiety relief through control, obedience and other activities, thus forming a certain degree of emotional substitution.
In the psychological phenomenon, there will be a virtual idol effect. In other words, you need to build a non-existent idol to help you solve your own problems. The origin is self-affirmation, self-salvation and self-compensation of human beings. Dom is the concrete projection of this virtual idol in reality. So from this perspective, the master-slave relationship did have a medical effect from the beginning.
But the reality is that most of the problems are that almost 99% dom can only be brought in but not out, that is, slaves' psychology cannot be adjusted to normal state, and some people get deeper and deeper. The real ds has a process of going out.
Usually, after the process of coercion, stability, repression, liberation and balance, the ds relationship will eventually normalize. So some people say that lifelong master-slave relationship may only be emotional, not ds relationship. If dom exists, it will deepen the problem and maintain dependence on dom for a long time, which is an anti-human practice.
So how to establish such a plan in concrete implementation? First of all, in the early days, you should observe and understand what is wrong with the other party's equipment. The common causes are severe inferiority complex, avoidant personality caused by domestic violence, social fear and mild depression. Then, if you think you can master and adjust these problems, you can enter the real beginning stage.
In the initial stage, the most important goal is to make the sub obey the control, domination and guidance of dom by demonstrating its own ability, long-term frequent control behavior, punishment and reward, conditioned reflex cultivation and other means. Generally speaking, there are several directions: sub feels inferior through sexual humiliation and criticism; Accustom sub to listening, especially the details, through action commands such as bowing and serving food; By indicating a complex behavior sequence, such as completing a difficult thing, and commenting, rewarding or punishing it, sub can gain a sense of dependence on dom. At this stage, sub often eventually fetters dom, forms a certain conditioned reflex and behavior pattern to dom's behavior and language, and also forms a certain psychological dependence and worship.
As mentioned above, most people stay at this stage because they take the establishment of superior rights as the goal of ds, and then begin to enjoy subordinate services as they please. Didn't really understand the nature of ds.
In fact, the real demand of dom is not only the rights of superiors, but also the improvement and cure of sub. I have to mention some psychological deviations of dom here. Not to mention the specific psychological deviation, as far as dom is concerned, it is a positive solution to the problem. Then the solution to psychological deviation is to fill the vacancy actively or deny the problem to cover it up. The ultimate goal of psychological deviation is self-affirmation of personality.
Then, being a god-like role is probably the best way for all mankind to affirm their self-personality. So, isn't it dom's greatest need to improve and cure a sub, which is close to God's goal? This is more successful and authoritative than just controlling the behavior of submarines. So the main body of ds is actually in the second stage.
The second stage can really be called training, which means adjustment and enlightenment. This stage is much more complicated. Mainly through the upper right established in the first stage, the child is guided by a certain program.
For example, Son A lacks sense of security. The specific reason is that he lacks three views and has no confidence in blindly following his relatives to establish a new lifestyle. Then a training program of three views and dom can be established. In Didi behavior, daily behavior control, result report, post-event summary and so on are all carried out around the three views that dom should instill in sub. Gradually transition to long-term behavior, work development plan, social interaction and so on. From three views to guidance and even command.
At the same time, this submarine has gained a better life experience and a sense of security. This stage is often all-weather training, which also requires dom to have a good psychological foundation, life experience and social experience. Of course, there is no specific means mentioned here. In this respect, everyone has his own play, and the Eight Immortals can cross the ocean and show their magical powers. (Hint: Has anyone ever played the Sims? )
At this stage, sub may get more growth, just like a student's growth towards society. But the dependence may be further improved, and the duality of one's behavior will also be improved. At this stage, we should pay attention to guiding and adjusting sub's mentality, and we should not let him have a strong dual personality. Once he has a dual personality, sub will always rely on dom, because dom is the explanation of his dual personality. Without Dom, he will not be able to explain himself, which may eventually lead to schizophrenia.
Therefore, ds also needs a lot of knowledge, comprehensive planning and careful implementation. Dom, which does not really have a strong demand in this respect, may not persist.
The third stage, regression, refers to the return to society, to the ordinary personality of sub, and to the self-life of sub.
The sufficient condition of ds is psychological deviation, so it is social and acquired. Therefore, it is an inevitable result that dom and sub correct their psychological deviation through certain ds behaviors, and finally return to normal from metamorphosis.
(The so-called metamorphosis does not refer to the metamorphosis in common spoken language, but refers to the stage of the development of physical and psychological problems, that is, the state of normal people in mainstream life; Abnormal condition has problems, but it can restrain itself or maintain the normality in mainstream life through certain means; I am sick with serious problems, unable to control myself, unable to maintain a normal state in mainstream life, and need to go to the hospital. )
This stage is mainly to strengthen the normalized behavior, gradually reduce the punishment and reward, and let sub conduct self-management and self-reflection. At the same time, by encouraging the good results of its self-behavior, it gradually dilutes the instruction and control behavior, and finally makes sub perform well in the mainstream society without dom control.
This stage is easier said than done.
First of all, dom's own desires are difficult to control, and of course this problem is easier to solve.
Then there is the dependence of sub, which is often difficult to get rid of or even quit.
In addition, sub's self-management and self-reflection are difficult to establish and often need instructions to supervise.
Of course, the last one is hard for ordinary people to really do. Therefore, in the third stage, there is often a compromise, that is, dom and sub maintain a long-term loose dominance and obedience relationship, and the specific form varies from person to person.
In addition to the above normal plan, there is an extremely rare situation, that is, the sub-problem is too serious to live normally in the mainstream society and enter the pathological range.
If dom is strong enough at this time (such as social relations, money, psychological knowledge, etc. ), the first half of the first and second stage can become a captive form.
In this case, the whole operation technology and process will change greatly. Because this kind of situation is actually rare, let's just say it's an ordinary strengthening operation. I won't talk about it here.
This is the general introduction of DS. I hope you all have a good DS experience, and there will be no more confusion, conflict and tragedy.