Many people we met.

Many communication scenarios

Often not so friendly.

How to maintain the ability to solve problems in front of people who are difficult to talk to?

And a decent attitude?

Learn the "four skills" from teachers who can't pick flowers, and you are no longer afraid of embarrassing occasions.

How to respond positively when the other party is unfriendly?

formula

Coping skills = changing caliber+changing time+changing occasions+changing roles.

Skill 1: change the caliber

Suppose that in the most extreme case, the other person talks to you with a malicious gun, especially in the workplace with the same goals and interests, and we are not good at tearing faces, then changing the tone is a way to change the subject.

Changing the caliber means that the other party asks you a question. Let's change the concept and respond with a caliber B. Suppose a colleague asks you for help and you are just busy and have no time. Colleagues say, you are really a busy man!

What would you say at this time? If you refute, there will be no one like you! Every day is so idle! Then this is the enemy, and the correct response is: "Well, I admire a master like you, and your ability to do anything is very easy." This reply replaces the other person's complaint that you don't want to help your colleagues with your high evaluation of them. Then the potential conflict relationship will be weakened and it will be decent.

You can deal with each other's emotions in this way, but I should remind you that there are certain risks, because it is easy to be considered as smart-ass and insincere, so it is best to use it with caution.

Tip 2: Change the time.

It is also an example of colleagues asking you for help. After dealing with each other's emotions (why do you do this can be seen in the previous notes), you can say: the thing at hand.

I may have finished it today. Let's make an appointment to discuss your feelings in X tomorrow.

Situation, ok? This reaction is called changing time.

Many times, we don't have to give each other a clear answer on the spot. For example, if the leader suddenly wants to transfer you, you may be unprepared and nervous. At this time, we can change the time from passive to active. You can answer like this: leader, I have to seriously think about such an important matter. Can you give me some time to think about it? I will report to you at xx time. Do you agree?

It's important to be prepared. If you haven't thought about it seriously, your answer is passive. It is best to avoid making a stress reaction. After changing the time, you can communicate your conditions, goals and requirements with each other.

In extreme cases, you can even use the "pause method". For example, when the other person is very excited, you can "stop" and say, "Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom to give both parties some time to calm down. Don't underestimate these minutes. In these few minutes, a qualitative change may occur. Many sports competitions will adopt this strategy.

Tip 3: Change the occasion

It is also an effective way to change the sense of space. For example, when leaders hold a meeting, they say that cadres should not take annual leave if they work hard next.

We must achieve this year's goal! The leader has just finished speaking, and you look sad. The leader asks you what difficulties you have. How do you reply? No matter what soft reasons you give, there will be some conflicts. He cheers for the team, and you pour a pot of water, even if it is warmer.

At this time, it is necessary to change the occasion. It can be said that small things will not delay everyone, and we will tell you after the meeting. This is equivalent to downgrading this matter, and it will be smoother to mention your difficulties after the meeting. Because in public, he represents the team and the company, while in private, he can only represent the individual. As an individual, it will be easier to understand your difficulties.

Of course, changing occasions also has the opposite purpose. If you want to enhance the importance of one thing, you must expand the occasion: first, attract more people to participate; Second, talk about things in a more formal and serious occasion.

Tip 4: Change roles

So, what if sometimes it is really impossible to judge whether to change the occasion? Then you can use the method of "role exchange" to kick the ball back and give it to the leader for judgment.

In other words, when we are inconvenient to answer, unwilling to answer, or unable to answer, we can respond by "changing roles" and "sending messages".

For another example, the leader asks you a question: Do you think your indicators for this quarter are reasonable? What does the leader want to do when he asks this? If you really don't know his intentions, you can throw the question back, leader. I have a little problem. Since you asked, let me ask, how do you think our indicators can be set more reasonably and more in line with the company's goals? As soon as this question comes out, it is equivalent to passing the ball back, and answering the role's question has changed. You changed from a responder to a questioner.

Communication principle: call a spade a spade and be afraid.

Some people may have such concerns. Are the four skills playing tricks to avoid the real problem? It should be emphasized that any kind of tool and any kind of ability has its boundaries.

When you use these alternative methods to communicate, you must remember: call a spade a spade, keep it a secret, tell the truth incompletely, and never tell a lie. No matter what skills are used, the bottom line of sincerity in communication must not be broken.