The biggest reason why a person has social phobia should be that his inferiority complex is too serious to accept his own shortcomings and defects.
In fact, everyone has his own advantages and disadvantages, but a person with social phobia, his advantages are not accepted by others, but his shortcomings are unacceptable to many people, including himself.
Maybe others don't know what his strengths are, or maybe he doesn't know what his strengths are. If you want him to overcome social phobia, you must dig out its advantages and enlarge it constantly. For example, his advantage is that he doesn't like to talk at home, or his talent is thinking.
Everyone has his own talent, and of course there are some annoying things. Why do we have to force him to lose his talent and let him do things he hates?
If it is for fame and fortune, he can get it at home through the internet.
If you have to force him to go out and associate with people, you can only let him gain some confidence, just like every star has his own famous song. If he doesn't have his own famous stunt, how can he get along with the Jianghu?
So I think what we need to do now is not to force him to mix in the rivers and lakes, but to practice his martial arts in the present time. After he has the magical skills or unique skills to protect his body, his confidence will greatly increase. At that time, even if you don't let him go out, he will sneak out.
Before he reached his magical powers and stunts, all the tricks to trick him out were in vain.
I'm Sister Tianlan, a psychological counselor, and my relatives have social phobia. Do you want my advice?
If you are the client, it will be easy. As long as you have this idea, it will be much easier if you are troubled by social fears and want to change. If it's family or friends, don't rush it, or haste makes waste. Please abandon the desire for control and respect the parties. If others don't want to go out and don't worry about socializing, you don't have to worry about others.
People who are socially fearful have a poor sense of security. When you get outside, you will panic inexplicably and your heart will beat faster. The less they go out, the less they want to go out. Home is the safest. So give him support, don't force him to go out, show that he has been with him, and he can come back whenever he wants, which will make him feel better.
Then you can try to go out a little and stand at the door and look out first. If you are anxious or flustered, you can calm down slowly by breathing and relaxing. Your family will continue to support and affirm. Don't worry, go out a little at a time, give active support every time, let the flustered tension of the parties be accepted, and it will be much better gradually.
If your family can't do well, you can ask professional consultants to support you. It is a long process to do more things to break through yourself and build up self-confidence. Don't arrange many people to pay attention to him, so that the parties always believe that they are safe enough. Those terrible feelings are illusions, there is no danger outside, and no one will laugh at him. Just slowly.
I believe that no language has such subtle influence as "action".
If it is an adult, first of all, I think he has his own fixed mode of thinking, and your words can't change his mind; Secondly, people who have social phobia, because they think too much, put too many possible worries behind them before giving action instructions. The more they think about it, the more afraid they are, and the longer they are afraid. Furthermore, social interaction is invisible and incomprehensible, and you need to try slowly and learn how to socialize step by step. It doesn't mean that one day you suddenly wake up, I should open myself to the outside world and you will socialize. Don't! Socialization is also a familiar process, and because of long-term social phobia, you have to peel off your fear layer by layer in order to socialize freely and normally.
Therefore, the subtle action is the best way to make a person with social phobia go out to socialize. If he is a teenager, he should set an example and promote socialization.
The above are personal suggestions, and I am very pleased if they are useful ~
I have read a case of psychotherapy in the book Change before: a man with crowd phobia will have a strong stress reaction every time he goes to a specific place, and even faint in severe cases. The doctor's advice to him is to go back to where you fainted and faint on purpose.
As a result, people become better.
Such a wonderful idea can confuse people, and then the fear will be reduced, because you have the initiative of your own consciousness.
Everyone in modern society has certain social phobia, so do I. I not only want to know people I don't know very well, but sometimes I don't even want to go out with friends I haven't seen for a long time. Before every date, my brain always previews all kinds of embarrassment in social situations, which makes me very anxious. Once I changed my mind and deliberately imagined myself making a fool of myself in social situations. The situation was extremely exaggerated. For example, you faint directly when you meet, laugh when you eat, spray rice into other people's bowls, pick your nose in public, and then pop it out. ...
But I'm not anxious to think about it. It's really amazing.
Erickson, a famous psychologist, called this idea "confusion technique", which is one of the most commonly used hypnosis methods. In the book, it is called the destruction of goodness. Whatever they call it, the purpose they want to achieve is to destroy the belief framework.
The belief framework is a huge background that we can't understand. It exists in every moment when we are awake and secretly controls our words and deeds.
However, serious anti-logic operations can make people very confused. This kind of confusion will make the belief framework temporarily collapse, cognition can intervene, and changes that cannot be produced in a balanced state can occur.
This is also the second-order change mentioned in the book Change. I recommend that the subject can read this book, which may be more helpful [smile].
1. System desensitization: System desensitization, also known as interactive inhibition, was founded and developed by American scholar Volp. This method is mainly to induce patients to slowly expose the situation that leads to anxiety and fear neurosis, and to fight this anxiety through psychological relaxation, so as to eliminate anxiety or fear.
You can start with people who know you well, where there are few people, and the easiest part. When you get used to this level of fear and anxiety, you can continue to deepen the difficulty until the fear and anxiety disappear.
2. Exposure therapy: resist the avoidance reaction, directly expose yourself to the place where you feel scared, and fight against fear and anxiety until you overcome it.
Social phobia is a psychological problem of being afraid of socializing or public places.
Social phobia leads to fear of all social occasions, such as parties, meetings, exams, or talking to others, walking, writing, expressing opinions and so on. My inner discomfort is so strong that I can't stay any longer. Restraint has become a disgrace to yourself and your behavior.
Generally speaking, social phobia is due to strong self-esteem, fear of being opposed or rejected by others, and possible lack of confidence in one's appearance, suppressed personality since childhood, unsatisfactory social environment, frustration, trouble, failure when interacting with people, and even ridicule, irony, rejection, etc. Thereby forming a bad character. Personality is actually the external expression of people's own way of thinking, and the incorrect way of thinking has caused the psychological problem of social phobia.
Patients with social phobia must correctly evaluate themselves and explore their advantages if they want to overcome their fears. Remember, I was born useful. The so-called ruler is short, inch is long, you always have your own advantages, and you should foster strengths and avoid weaknesses in interpersonal communication.
The general procedure is to gradually increase social interaction, so as to achieve the effect of eliminating social fear reaction. First of all, we should adjust our mentality, establish a good concept, constantly tell ourselves, accept ourselves, and build confidence that this fear can be eliminated. And correctly understand the procedures and methods of communication with people.
Secondly, we should find out what causes our social fear and try to dig deep into our inner roots. Then in an imaginary situation, constantly simulate the scene of social phobia, constantly repeat the practice, constantly encourage yourself to face this scene bravely, and practice how to communicate with people smoothly in this scene.
Finally, try to force yourself, but don't pursue perfection too much, but build confidence step by step. First, practice in crowded streets, shopping malls and other crowded places, not afraid of what others think of you, attend more parties, try to express your views and make more friends.
Sometimes your shyness is not entirely caused by nervousness. It may be because your knowledge field is too narrow or you know too little about hot issues. You usually read more newspapers and magazines, browse hot news topics online, broaden your horizons and enrich your experience, so that you can have endless topics to talk about when communicating with people and express your views without difficulty in social occasions, so that you can overcome the psychological problem of social phobia and go out to socialize.
The truth of all the so-called mental diseases such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, mania and bipolar disorder.
Psychological problems are a very serious social phenomenon at present, especially among children, which makes people feel sad. How many people are in despair, how many families are on the verge of collapse, and most people are still in the dark and don't know the truth and the way out. That's terrible!
What I want to tell you is that all the so-called psychological problems, no matter what type, no matter how serious, no matter how complicated the symptoms are, actually do not exist at all. Why are these so-called mental diseases so difficult to cure? Because we have been solving a non-existent problem, how to solve it? The result will only cause more and more serious problems. Obviously, all negative emotions are normal emotions that everyone has, just like breathing. If you have to solve it, you can only solve your life, which is why many people finally choose to go to a dead end. Most people will let go of negative emotions quickly, but we can't. We must solve it, even if the larger foe breaks through, the result will be more and more serious. As we all know, there is no need to solve the problem unless it is solved. No matter how hard life is, there is nothing to let go of. When you leave this world, you can't take anything away.
Life is a drama, so why be so serious and bother yourself.
In fact, there are many people worse off than you in reality. Most people don't take it seriously or answer it. We not only pick it up, but also don't want to put it down. As long as you put it down, there will be no pain. If we can't let go, there's nothing anyone can do. But there is a painful way. Suffering is enough, and you will naturally let go.
I want to tell you that it is a very wrong choice to choose to end your life. Ending life is not the end of pain, but just the beginning of another endless pain. Life will never end, and every life has its meaning.
Anyway, what is the essence and truth of these so-called psychological problems? Knowing this, all the so-called psychological problems will be solved. Because it doesn't actually exist, of course, there is nothing to solve.
Some people say, how can it not exist? The problems we face in reality are as real as the pain we bear in our hearts. We just can't sleep, our symptoms and diseases are real, I just can't see any hope of life, and so on. These pains obviously exist. Isn't it self-deception to say that it doesn't exist?
Yes, everything is so real to you. What I want to say is that these so-called real situations are only results, not causes, but also superficial phenomena, not essence. They are not static. To solve these so-called psychological problems, we must start from the root causes. Whether through psychological counseling or drug therapy, everyone is using phenomena to solve phenomena and problems to solve problems. Instead of solving the problem, it will continue to worsen.
All psychological problems, no matter what kind of negative emotions, will be manifested as uncontrollable thoughts, constant thinking, unable to eat, unable to sleep, physical and mental fatigue. They just want to understand that the more they think about it, the more uncontrollable the vicious circle will be until it collapses. This is because in this process, our energy will gradually run out and we will lose the ability to control our own thinking more and more. In the end, even our own lives will be given up, which is an illusion of low energy state. In that energy state, even a sesame seed will become a mountain and crush itself.
In this case, only by increasing energy can it be changed. This energy is not only eating and resting, but more importantly, it is to stop the erosion of negative energy (negative thinking) and constantly improve positive energy. To break the vicious circle, stop thinking (you will never think about it, and you will never think about the result) and turn to positive thinking to save energy. With positive energy, you can control your own thinking and everything in your life. With positive energy, the problem that bothered you in the past has changed from watermelon to sesame.
So how do you stop thinking? We just can't help thinking! In fact, we can't control our thoughts because negative energy (all negative emotions) is so powerful that we are controlled by negative energy. Because people with different negative energy express different negative emotions, physical symptoms are even more strange, and there are all kinds of so-called psychological problems, which are actually the same in essence.
As long as the essence is grasped, all the so-called psychological problems naturally do not exist and do not need to be solved at all, because there is nothing to solve. No matter what your situation is, no matter how serious it is, no matter how real and difficult the real problem is, no matter how serious your health is, even if you are terminally ill, there is only one root cause and one solution. Find the root cause, all the problems in life are soap bubbles.
What is the root cause? The fundamental reason lies in the wrong three views and the wrong pursuit of value. At present, it can be said that 99% people in the world are pursuing the wrong things. Pursue material things, all kinds of desires, pornography, unfilial, do not cherish life, only know to take but do not know the meaning of life is to give rather than take, and have pressure (have to pursue a specific goal or requirement). Because of these wrong views, every thought, every word and every action in our hearts are directed at desires and needs. There must be a desire behind every negative emotion. There are also many parents who impose these misconceptions on their children, blaming others for hurting their children and blaming themselves. All our desires and negative emotions are negative energy, which will be constantly entangled and amplified. In the end, positive energy will be less and less, and even we will be proud of negative energy and ashamed of positive energy. Isn't this a common phenomenon in modern society? Why do most people live in pain? This is the general source. Everyone's performance is different, some are physically ill, some are mentally ill, some encounter setbacks or disasters, and so on.
When we get the so-called mental illness, we begin to blame others, think that we are unlucky and think that heaven is unfair. In fact, God is the fairest. Every mistake you make, you have to bear it yourself. And everyone is choosing to avoid responsibility, but how can they escape? Some people want to talk to a psychological counselor, but actually talking is releasing negative energy, which will not only solve the problem, but also attract more negative energy. Some people hope to solve it through drugs. It's obviously a matter of heart. How to solve the drug? Isn't that ridiculous? Others want someone to help them. How does the other person in your heart make it work? How can others understand your whimsy under negative emotions?
You live in a dream and only wake up. Who can interpret dreams? Wake up. What's the problem?
To solve this problem, you must first understand where you are wrong and that no one is punishing you. It's all your own fault. The universe is the fairest. If you are still happy when you are wrong, it is really unreasonable. In fact, it's nobody's fault outside, it's all your own fault. Don't complain, just reflect on yourself. The theory of family origin simply doesn't exist. Are harmful. You decide your own destiny, so don't give yourself any reasons or excuses. Don't think that it is caused by all practical problems such as family environment, others bullying you, interpersonal tension, lack of money, stress, physical illness and so on. Wrong, these problems are also phenomena, the result of three wrong views, and the result of the same root as your psychological problems are all appearances and have the same root of mistakes. Even if these problems are solved, your psychological problems still exist and there will be bigger problems to remind you.
Every pain reminds you that you are wrong and makes you turn around quickly. Once you look back, pain loses its value of existence. The sea of misery is boundless, and turning back is the shore. As long as you don't look back, the pain will follow you. Behind every pain, there is a persistence and a desire. Only let go of persistence and desire. The past is the past, and everything is of my own making. No one has hurt you, and no one can hurt you. Accept what you are facing. This is the result of what you have done in the past and cannot be changed. What we can do now is to recognize our mistakes and correct them. From now on, keep positive thoughts, words and behaviors, stop spreading and releasing negative energy, including at home and on the Internet, starting from the side, starting from small things, starting from housework, helping others, dedicating yourself, letting go of selfishness, desire, material desire, honoring parents, cherishing all life and fearing nature. These are the true meaning of life, returning to humanity. Where can there be psychological problems? Where are the life problems to be solved? Where does it hurt? What's unfair?
Also, parents with children's problems, please let their children go, let them go, don't care too much, give them a correct outlook on life education, give them freedom, and don't give them too much pressure. Internet generation, less contact with video games, pornographic websites and other addictive things, stop killing children with drugs! ! !
Finally, I can tell you that I used to be a so-called serious mental patient for more than twenty years, no matter how desperate and helpless I was. Now, I have been born again. I hope to share my experience gained with blood and tears with you, and I hope to help more people who are still trapped in the bottomless abyss of pain come out. I hope to save more families and children on the verge of collapse.
Thinking that you have so-called psychological problems and trying to solve them are the real reasons and the beginning of all the pain. With the process of solving, the pain is getting bigger and bigger. This is the fundamental difference between normal people and so-called mental patients. All real problems in life are the same, and not solving them is the best solution. Do nothing. Do nothing. Most people have done it backwards, so it's miserable.
Many people say they can't let go. Nothing can't be let go. People have to put it down when they die. No one can take it away. If you don't put it down, you will continue to suffer on your back. There is no choice, and no one can help you put it down. The only way to let go is to accept, accept what others and yourself have experienced, and accept everything that may happen!
Friends with feelings, I hope everyone will forward more. Helping others is helping yourself.
Social anxiety, also called social phobia/social phobia. It is different from simple "introversion". Social anxiety people will excessively monitor and pay attention to their social behaviors and make negative comments on their words and deeds.
People with social anxiety are also afraid to express their demands on certain occasions, and they are extremely afraid that their demands will be denied or rejected.
Social fear may also deliberately avoid many social occasions, such as avoiding some parties and gatherings, but it is different from those who confidently say, "Sorry, my schedule is full, I won't go."
Rejecting the invitation itself may consume our great energy and courage. For a long time after refusing the invitation, we will be uneasy and wonder if our refusal will be rude.
In addition, social fear will blame yourself and be ashamed that you can't socialize freely like others.
? So how to build social self-confidence?