Because I am not tempted and know my own virtue too well, I must be the one who was killed when I moved, so I habitually pressed my heart, felt my feelings, and began to criticize and suppress my good feelings.

When I am alone, I can have a good time. I have classes, buy food and cook, exercise, invite friends to have supper and drink a little wine at night, which is very regular and comfortable. I travel when I have time, and I usually sweep the streets with my camera on weekends, so that my life is arranged in an orderly way, full of insights and rationality.

Once I have such a person, everything I do will be disrupted by him, even if he does nothing.

I have been looking at my mobile phone to see if there is any news. I wonder what he is doing. Do you want to ask? Why didn't he return my message? If he doesn't contact me for something, I will be driven crazy for a while and even cry for a long time.

Do you want to bring him something delicious when you see it? Seeing a men's clothing store is like entering. I will give him something interesting when I see it, and I will spend a lot of energy to give him some gifts. I will carefully guess the meaning of every word he says.

Dare not make demands, dare not refute his opinions, can only obey, for fear that he is a little dissatisfied with me.

I have a problem with this man. It's too easy to take my promise seriously, even if it's just a casual mention. When he says where to take me, I will really put it on the agenda and plan it carefully. When he says he will do it, I really believe that he can do it, and those who wait for me are often disappointed.

You will feel that you are not good enough, have a bad appearance, have a bad figure, have a bad personality, have no skill and talent, and have no outstanding ability. Why should I let him do what he says? I wonder if he likes me like this, loves himself in the dust and becomes unlike himself.

If a lonely person has such a partner, his sense of dependence will burst out in an instant, he will become cautious and sensitive, and the wall I built for more than ten years will fall apart immediately.

If one day he leaves me, I'm afraid I don't have enough strength to adapt to loneliness again. Just like that sentence, I am living in despair. You should fish me out with more hands and then throw me back.

It is because I am too eager for love that I dare not get it. I'm not very satisfied with myself now. I also hope that I can show weakness when I encounter difficulties, instead of trying to face them and then listening to others say how I am so strong.

But I am more used to adapting to all kinds of hardships in life by myself than relying on another person because of worry. I'm so tired, but I can't help it.

The best and safest way is to keep walking, alone.