After being betrayed, you may have a strong stress reaction and spin around in your own emotional whirlpool. You are very painful and have no interest in doing anything. Mixed feelings in my heart, anger and sadness, strong resentment. These negative emotions should be vented, and you can't accumulate them and tire yourself out!
One. Vent your emotions and vent yourself.
How to vent? As adults, we can't express our disapproval like children.
I introduce three more effective methods.
1. Talk, the person you talk to doesn't recommend friends around you, which will lead to new psychological problems. If you meet someone with a bad world outlook, you may be biased. It is best to find a professional psychological counselor. Now there are many APP consultants on all major platforms. If you don't know each other online, just listen to the voice, you can reveal your inner world to each other without any bad feelings, and you can tell your helplessness, sadness, anger and unwillingness. Say it out, and say all the boredom that is stuck in your heart. Sometimes when you speak, you will have a clear mind and know where your direction is! A professional psychological counselor must be a very good listener, and can also guide you to dump negative emotions and vent yourself. I have met all kinds of counselors, some of whom will break down and cry, some will swear, slowly tell the past, sort themselves out, and become more and more sober after extremely strong emotional catharsis. Some counselors are quiet at first, ta just whispers, and sometimes they can hear SOB. There are not many consultants who are quiet from beginning to end. Most of these injured people just want to talk to someone about this experience. After talking, many counselors are very tired, some of them fall asleep slowly, and then they can get some relief. Under the guidance of psychological counselors, the number of emotional repetitions decreased, and with my own efforts, I slowly recovered my vitality and found my own light.
Find a group. Maybe you don't like consulting, one-on-one talk. Then you can find a group, or a betrayed WeChat group. Chat together, learn psychological knowledge, learn emotional management, get along with men and women, laws and regulations, punch in books together, exercise, arrange flowers ....., and slowly heal yourself with everyone's company.
Sweating in the gym is my personal experience and can effectively improve my anxiety. You can also try.
Two. Change cognition
The root of all pain comes from oneself.
When I was young, I didn't understand this sentence. How can the root of pain be on yourself?
The more consultants I contact, the more I can understand. The root of all pain comes from our knowledge of the outside world. Different cognition has different feelings, and different cognition has different scenery in front of us. If you encounter emotional betrayal, you should re-recognize intimacy and marriage and re-establish the underlying logic of marriage. Build your own framework.
Besides communicating with TAs, the best way to change cognition is to read books and talk to yourself. Professional psychology books may be boring, and many people may not have the patience to finish reading them, especially in the state of unhealed injuries. Non-professional novels are only suitable for the present.
"Meet Better Yourself" Do you often feel helpless and emotionally collapsed in your life, and don't know how to deal with yourself under various complicated relationships? I don't know how to repair and reshape the relationship with parents, close lovers, children and friends. You can follow the story of the female host to feel and find the answer. This book also gives answers and provides practical and effective solutions for how to establish a dominant lifestyle.
A person's pilgrimage, I personally like this book. Global sales10 million copies, shortlisted for 20 12 Booker Literature Award.
A man's pilgrimage is actually a psychological journey of his life, dedicated to every victory in life, the healing of sadness and the call for love.
Another book strongly recommends non-violent communication. Sometimes we may have to spend a long time with the person who betrayed you. I believe this book can help you. Maybe you can find pleasure in it.
3. Healing is your own business.
Betrayal is given by the other party, and healing is your own business. Don't pin your hopes on each other. If you expect this once intimate person to heal you, it is equivalent to giving the other person the right to hurt yourself again. The more expectations, the more disappointments, and the greater the harm.
Take back your expectations and focus on yourself. If you pay for it yourself, you can ensure that your efforts will not be wasted.
Healing is a process of self-growth. I hope that each of us can get a better self when we grow up, which can be regarded as Adujie in our life.