2. "Do you know? We are both too much. " "How?" "You are so beautiful, I am so fascinated."
The roundest moon, it takes a month to wait for the sunrise tomorrow morning, and it takes a day to wait for it. My love for you will never stop.
Can you protect me like your brother? I can give you my sister.
5. You are the most right coincidence I have ever met in my life; You are the whole world in my life; You are the sun with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.
6. I am full of love for you, but I don't say a word. If you know, you will know. I don't know, forget it. Love in the mouth is less than one thousandth of that in the heart.
7. "It's getting cold." Mm-hmm. "Why don't you come to my arms to keep warm?"
8. Do you know the difference between you and the stars? The stars are in the sky and you are in my heart.
9. How to solve your worries? Only hug you.
10. "Do you know the three warmest words in the world?" Which three? I love you from your mouth.
1 1. I think you are like a game My World.
12. The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? Looking up, I found that the moonlight was very low ... I bowed my head and wanted to kiss you.
13. I must have been a carbonated drink in my last life, so I am bubbling at the sight of you in my life.
14. Your father must be a thief. He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
15. "Go out and turn right and go downstairs. Go straight 1000m". then what "Will the Civil Affairs Bureau go or not?"
16. "Do you know why I have a cold?" "Because you have a cold?" "No, because I have no resistance to you at all."
17. Do you know my favorite drink recently? What? Take good care of you.
18. What happened to "Come and help me"? What happened? "I am trapped in a world that loves you."
19. "Do you know who I can't live without?" I don't know. "Of course I can't live without you."
20. "I learned to walk twice in my life." Which two times? "Once when I was a child, once when I came to see you that day."
The two men laughed at each other. What are you talking about? "My bed is neither too big nor too small"? "It's just right to sleep with you."
I don't know when it started. Finding you in the crowd at a glance has become the best thing for me. Where I miss you, I can see you.
23. "Do you know what day it was yesterday?" "What day?" "That was the day when I loved you."
24. Speaking of it, there is only one criterion for me to choose a spouse: you.
25. Don't let me see you, or I will like you once.
26. Can you play the guitar? No, then why can you touch my heartstrings?
27. Let's play wood games. Do not move. All right! I lost. Why? Because my heart is beating.
28. I've always been dizzy recently. Do you know the reason? I don't know, because love makes people dizzy.
29. I recently learned a new skill, fortune telling. Let me count by hand. You don't need me in your life.
30. "I think you look like one of my relatives." "who?" "My mother's daughter-in-law."
3 1. "Let's eat noodles" and "What noodles"
32. I have been looking for shops recently. Do you know some shops? It's your call.
33. "Do you know the difference between you and a monkey?" Monkeys have tails and I don't? "No, monkeys live in caves, and you live in my heart."
34. How many times do I have to repeat it? Covering skills: short is short, short is long. If two things are long and two things are short, choose B, and the uneven C is invincible. I chose you from all your choices.
I want to buy a piece of land from you. What land? I am dead set on you.
36. "How can I solve my troubles? Only violence ... "? Huh? ""... hug you "
37. "I want to change my avatar." What kind? "You are like this."
38. "If you are spring tea, do you know what I am?" I don't know, "I'm boiling water because I want to soak you."
39. "liking you is a very troublesome thing." "But I just like to make trouble."
40. "Do you know? We are both too much. " "How much is it?" "You are so beautiful, I am so fascinated."
Tell me a funny thing.
1. I saw a fat girl walking slowly on the treadmill in the gym. I'll remind her: sister, you have to speed up, or you won't lose weight. Sister listened to the wronged answer: I adjusted it quickly, but it was slow when I stepped on it!
2. In the morning, the manager came over and said to have breakfast quickly and tell you something after eating! Me: Work is important. You go first and I'll eat later! Manager: The company has laid off staff, so you have the strength to pack up after breakfast. . .
2000 a month, I feel that I have reached the peak of my life. I'm still single, and I'm afraid to have a girlfriend because I'm afraid my girlfriend will try to get my money.
4. It's autumn. I should go shopping when I open the closet. When I opened my wallet, I was young and not cold.
Brother, can you lend me some money? I'm going home to discuss it with my wife. Don't you have a wife? B: so it's not negotiable!
6. There is only one worry when you are not full, and there are countless troubles when you are full.
7. When Lao Wang entered the age of no doubt, he felt that his ears were useless more and more, so he went to the hospital for treatment. Lao Wang: Doctor, my ears are getting worse. I can't even hear my own fart recently. Doctor: Take this medicine and see. Things may get better. Lao Wang: Can my ear disease be cured? Doctor: That may be impossible, but it can make your fart louder.
8. People are divided into groups, which is why my list is so beautiful.
9. I saw a middle-aged man and woman kissing on the bus for half an hour on the news, and the passengers couldn't stand it. Everyone came forward to accuse: Nima foreplay is too long, why not take it off? We have been to many stations!
10. Stay with me. At least I have more than ten catties of meat than others. I love you.
You can accept that people who are better than you work harder than you. But if people who are better than you don't work harder than you, you will be lost. Why? Because you are stupid.
12. I am really lucky. I am grateful to know these sincere friends for many years. My attitude towards me has never changed. For example, I didn't receive a Mid-Autumn Festival gift last year, and I still haven't received a Mid-Autumn Festival gift this year.
13. My wife just gave birth to a second child, and my buddies got together. I couldn't go, so I sent a text message: My penis is too small to come. A friend who didn't know the situation called me and said, forget it, just eat and sing, and nothing will happen. . .
14. Me: Son, what should I buy for my mother when I grow up? Son: House and car. Me: Can't afford it? Son: I will only burn it for you in the future. Me:. . .
15. I don't like you, like the neighbor next door who ate Chili.
16. Run to the boy you like, say shyly that you have something to say on the rooftop after class, and then turn around and run. The chances of success are extremely high. If you are still rejected, you can turn around and run again. If he pulls you, jump into his arms. If he doesn't pull you, take out the lock prepared in advance and lock it on him, so he will usually give in.
17. Spring fatigue, summer fatigue, autumn fatigue, hibernation, four seasons like a dream.
18. My son came home: Dad, I got 50 points. Dad is angry: don't call me dad if you fail the exam next time! The son came back the next day: I'm sorry, brother!
19. It's so cold in winter that neither of them wants to get up and cook breakfast. My wife said it was a guessing game. Two people punch at the same time, the wife's fist and the husband's cloth. Husband smiled and said: You lost, get up and make breakfast! The wife said: My fist, your cloth, did you win? Let me ask you, fist or cloth? Cloth makes clothes. Can clothes stop fists? You can try if you don't believe me. Your clothes can stop my fist. You win. Husband stopped laughing and silently got up to cook.
A funny story that makes people laugh.
1. I'm Jesus, his son Coconut!
2. Women please themselves, while men please themselves piteously!
There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?
There are plenty of people's backgrounds, but I only have my back.
The realistic society ruined my chance to be a good person!
No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.
7. There will be a road in the end, and I can't stop it.
8. Wechat is so awesome that it is difficult to make a mobile phone into a walkie-talkie.
9. Even if my heart is the liver and lungs of the donkey, it is enough to feed the dog's stomach.
10. In front of beautiful women: danger can be saved, and no danger can create danger.
1 1. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.
12. Brother looked down, not because he was afraid, but because he was looking for bricks.
13. All kinds of small talk, all kinds of ditties, all kinds of tunes.
14. Maxima is very common, but Maxima's mother is not.
15. Iron shirts, golden bells, Xiao Li flying knives, love bullets whistling, couples watching the battle.
16. Tian Jian, Tu Longdao, Zhang Ba snake spear, one will be turned into a thousand bones, and the jade belt will be a dragon robe.
17. Clear water leads to no fish, while lowly people lead to invincible.
18. There is a man in my family who has grown up for more than twenty years.
19. The wind is light and the clouds are light, and the eyebrows are locked and sad. When I meet a beautiful woman, I give her the glad eye and my mind swings.
20. A big woman can't have no electricity for a day, and a little woman can't have no money for a day!
2 1. When others praise me, I worry that others will not praise me enough.
22. Even believe in advertisements. You must be stupid to study!
23. Brother, I am not lonely, because I am accompanied by loneliness!
24. Those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, and those who are afraid of debt are really poor!
25. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west make the teacher heartless.
26. I didn't know until I went to the hospital that people are more likely to hang up than numbers.
27. I have always had you in my heart, but the proportion has changed.
28. Mother-in-law's result: Men are feminine and women are menstruation.
29. Wine meets bosom friend.
30. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!
3 1. Planting grass won't make people lie down. Why don't you plant cactus?
32. It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.
33. Just like you, at this age, you have fallen below the issue price.
34. The teacher said: The college entrance examination is coming soon, so don't fall in love and quarrel early, so as not to affect your mood; Don't confess without puppy love, lest you be rejected and affect your mood.
You have so many pimples on your face that it will turn over when you drive a tractor.
36. My brother is a legend. Don't ask me which unit I work in.
37. The poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and Niu B works overtime to knock on the computer.
38. A buddy's psychological quality is as good as no psychological quality.
39. You don't have to count what you said, but you have to change the person you like every day.
40. A big belly is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it is unexpectedly big.
4 1. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!
42. How dare I not believe that you have the face to lie?
43. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!
44. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!
45. The so-called puppy love is just to raise a wife for others.
46. Don't buy useless things, no matter how cheap; Don't rely on people who don't love, no matter how lonely they are.
47. Ugly people can get married and beautiful people can be single.
48. People who say good night to sleep often show off in an ostentatious manner after half an hour.
49. A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: Why is my dear so kind to me? Hey, hey, the cat said with a smile, you'll know when you get fat.
50. A roommate, determined to start losing weight, vowed in front of all roommates: Fat, I'll fight with you. A month later, I failed to lose weight. I said softly in front of all my roommates: Dear Pangpang, you won again this time.
5 1. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.
52. If a diamond lasts forever, one will go bankrupt!
53. Go your own way and let others take a taxi!
The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.
55. Taking pictures is to seize the opportunity, and it will never be good on purpose.
56. White plus black: stepping on a person during the day does not fall asleep; Step on one more person at night and sleep soundly.
57. Don't open the gift ribbon. At first, it was full of expectations, and finally it was corrupt.
58. Think about the salary ratio. Forget it. I don't want to live.
59. Don't mess with me, or I'll let you die rhythmically.
60. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.
6 1. You are too short! Let me borrow your telescope to see more clearly. Am I not handsome?
62. I want to make a download software called earmuffs. Because lightning is inaudible.
63. People have lost their waists and bottoms. Why do we have to start with brain cells?
Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers. A friend especially felt: Now that technology is developing so fast, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen. Another friend said: you are so stupid! Do I have to walk over and poke with my finger without the remote control?
65. Stop fooling around, or you will be confused by the days.
66. If this is not love, then I'd rather sell cabbage.
67. Someone actually wears blue eye shadow, which is an insult to my dark circles!
68. If you fool around, you will get bored sooner or later.
69. Success is 10% talent plus 10% not being distracted by the Internet.
70. I have three heights, a tall man and a high IQ. I use BBK!
7 1. Fate shuffles the cards, but we play cards ourselves!
72. My heart is broken and it looks like dumpling stuffing.
I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?
74.look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.
75. When there is a bright moon, ask the sky for wine and say, Fuck you, I am so busy, how can I ignore you and watch the weather forecast by myself?
76. I am in Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in Jianghu.
77. I'm glad to find twenty cents. When I picked it up, it looked like 1992 money. It's expired.
78. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!
79. I just registered a user named Dad on a website and sent me an email. At first, I was dumbfounded. It said: Hello, Dad, your user name has been registered successfully!
80. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.
8 1. I skipped classes too much. One day, I want to go to class. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.
82. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
83. I definitely don't feel a catty of white wine, because I died after drinking half a catty.
Everyone says I'm ugly, but in fact I'm just beautiful.
85. If I don't hit you, you won't know that I am both civil and military.
86. When I was particularly sleepy, my moral standards didn't wake up. Teachers should be careful.
87. There was a match that burned to death after a few days without washing its hair and itchy scalp.
My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.
89. Hello, the number you dialed has passed away. Please redial in your next life.
90. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.
9 1. I struggled with fat and almost didn't die.
92. Adults are uncomfortable, but they are actually uncomfortable.
93. When I love you, you are beautiful; When I hate you, you are a zombie!
94. There are thousands of children in China. If this one doesn't work, we'll change it.
95. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you ignore me and I commit suicide.
96. Showing off your wealth is like being complacent, trying to show off your gorgeous appearance, but being seen in your ass.
97. As long as we have confidence, anything is possible.
98. Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.
99. The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.
100. Since people get tanned, their faces look good, their teeth turn white, and they don't blush after drinking wine.
Funny quotations that make people laugh.
1. I'm Jesus, his son Coconut!
2. Women please themselves, while men please themselves piteously!
There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?
There are plenty of people's backgrounds, but I only have my back.
The realistic society ruined my chance to be a good person!
No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.
7. There will be a road in the end, and I can't stop it.
8. Wechat is so awesome that it is difficult to make a mobile phone into a walkie-talkie.
9. Even if my heart is the liver and lungs of a donkey, it is enough to feed the dog's stomach.
10. In front of beautiful women: danger can be saved, and no danger can create danger.
1 1. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.
12. Brother looked down, not because he was afraid, but because he was looking for bricks.
13. All kinds of small talk, all kinds of ditties, all kinds of tunes.
14. Maxima is very common, but Maxima's mother is not.
15. Iron shirts, golden bells, Xiao Li flying knives, love bullets whistling, couples watching the battle.
16. Tian Jian, Tu Longdao, Zhang Ba snake spear, one will be turned into a thousand bones, and the jade belt will be a dragon robe.
17. Clear water leads to no fish, while lowly people lead to invincible.
18. There is a man in my family who has grown up for more than twenty years.
19. The wind is light and the clouds are light, and the eyebrows are locked and sad. When I meet a beautiful woman, I give her the glad eye and my mind swings.
20. A big woman can't have no electricity for a day, and a little woman can't have no money for a day!
2 1. When others praise me, I worry that others will not praise me enough.
22. Even believe in advertisements. You must be stupid to study!
23. Brother, I am not lonely, because I am accompanied by loneliness!
24. Those who are not afraid of debt collection are heroes, and those who are afraid of debt are really poor!
25. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west make the teacher heartless.
26. I didn't know until I went to the hospital that people are more likely to hang up than numbers.
27. I have always had you in my heart, but the proportion has changed.
28. Mother-in-law's result: Men are feminine and women are menstruation.
29. Wine meets bosom friend.
30. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!
3 1. Planting grass won't make people lie down. Why don't you plant cactus?
32. It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.
33. Just like you, at this age, you have fallen below the issue price.
34. The teacher said: The college entrance examination is coming soon, so don't fall in love and quarrel early, so as not to affect your mood; Don't confess without puppy love, lest you be rejected and affect your mood.
You have so many pimples on your face that it will turn over when you drive a tractor.
36. My brother is a legend. Don't ask me which unit I work in.
37. The poor play with cars, the rich play with watches, and Niu B works overtime to knock on the computer.
38. A buddy's psychological quality is as good as no psychological quality.
39. You don't have to count what you said, but you have to change the person you like every day.
40. A big belly is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it is unexpectedly big.
4 1. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!
42. How dare I not believe that you have the face to lie?
43. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!
44. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!
45. The so-called puppy love is just to raise a wife for others.
46. Don't buy useless things, no matter how cheap; Don't rely on people who don't love, no matter how lonely they are.
47. Ugly people can get married and beautiful people can be single.
48. People who say good night to sleep often show off in an ostentatious manner after half an hour.
49. A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: Why is my dear so kind to me? Hey, hey, the cat said with a smile, you'll know when you get fat.
50. A roommate, determined to start losing weight, vowed in front of all roommates: Fat, I'll fight with you. A month later, I failed to lose weight. I said softly in front of all my roommates: Dear Pangpang, you won again this time.
5 1. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.
52. If a diamond lasts forever, one will go bankrupt!
53. Go your own way and let others take a taxi!
The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.
55. Taking pictures is to seize the opportunity, and it will never be good on purpose.
56. White plus black: stepping on a person during the day does not fall asleep; Step on one more person at night and sleep soundly.
57. Don't open the gift ribbon. At first, it was full of expectations, and finally it was corrupt.
58. Think about the salary ratio. Forget it. I don't want to live.
59. Don't mess with me, or I'll let you die rhythmically.
60. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.
6 1. You are too short! Let me borrow your telescope to see more clearly. Am I not handsome?
62. I want to make a download software called earmuffs. Because lightning is inaudible.
63. People have lost their waists and bottoms. Why do we have to start with brain cells?
Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers. A friend especially felt: Now that technology is developing so fast, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen. Another friend said: you are so stupid! Do I have to walk over and poke with my finger without the remote control?
65. Stop fooling around, or you will be confused by the days.
66. If this is not love, then I'd rather sell cabbage.
67. Someone actually wears blue eye shadow, which is an insult to my dark circles!
68. If you fool around, you will get bored sooner or later.
69. Success is 10% talent plus 10% not being distracted by the Internet.
70. I have three heights, a tall man and a high IQ. I use BBK!
7 1. Fate shuffles the cards, but we play cards ourselves!
72. My heart is broken and it looks like dumpling stuffing.
I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?
74.look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.
75. When will there be a bright moon? Ask about Sky Wine and say, Fuck you, I'm so busy, how can I ignore you and watch the weather forecast by myself?
76. I am in Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in Jianghu.
77. I'm glad to find twenty cents. When I picked it up, it looked like 1992 money. It's expired.
78. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!
79. I just registered a user named Dad on a website and sent me an email. At first, I was dumbfounded. It said: Hello, Dad, your user name has been registered successfully!
80. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.
8 1. I skipped classes too much. One day, I want to go to class. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.
82. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
83. I definitely don't feel a catty of white wine, because I died after drinking half a catty.
Everyone says I'm ugly, but in fact I'm just beautiful.
85. If I don't hit you, you won't know that I am both civil and military.
86. When I was particularly sleepy, my moral standards didn't wake up. Teachers should be careful.
87. There was a match that burned to death after a few days without washing its hair and itchy scalp.
My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.
89. Hello, the number you dialed has passed away. Please redial in your next life.
90. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.
9 1. I struggled with fat and almost didn't die.
92. Adults are uncomfortable, but they are actually uncomfortable.
93. When I love you, you are beautiful; When I hate you, you are a zombie!
94. There are thousands of children in China. If this one doesn't work, we'll change it.
95. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the leather shoes, I am the brush, you ignore me and I commit suicide.
96. Showing off your wealth is like being complacent, trying to show off your gorgeous appearance, but being seen in your ass.
97. As long as we have confidence, anything is possible.
98. Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.
99. The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.
100. Since people get tanned, their faces look good, their teeth turn white, and they don't blush after drinking wine.