Being pregnant means becoming a mother-to-be. After the baby is born, it will become a real mother.
From one person to two people to a home, the role of women has changed greatly, from an independent woman to a wife to a mother. Of course, these three characters are also fused after giving birth. When we can freely change roles in our daily life, we will actually enjoy life more.
I am also a treasure mother, a treasure mother in the workplace. In addition to the above three roles, I have a professional role. So after I got pregnant, I spent more time at home, so self-improvement became necessary, especially how to be a good mother.
Combined with my actual self-improvement experience in the role transformation after becoming a mother, I summarized three aspects that I think are more important, hoping to help all treasure moms or treasure dads.
Growing up, we spent a lot of time studying, even taking a certificate. However, some parents or prospective parents neglect the study of parenting knowledge and forget how to learn how to be a good parent.
Some people may think that having children naturally makes them parents. Actually, it's not. Being a good parent is actually the greatest career. Like other professions, we need to constantly improve our parenting skills.
So how can we improve parenting skills? If you wait until the child is born and there is a problem before you study, sometimes you may be in a hurry. In fact, the best time is to reserve parenting knowledge in advance during pregnancy, so that when we know the growth and development characteristics of children in advance and the sensitive period of their growth in advance, we can keep up with the crisis in time.
Parenting books are the best way to learn. Different from the fragmentation characteristics of parenting articles, parenting books are generally systematic. When we choose good books, we will find that raising children is not a particularly elusive thing, but also has rules to follow.
When choosing parenting books, I personally think we can follow the following three criteria:
① Similarity of parenting concepts. There are many experts in modern self-parenting, but we need to know how to choose and choose the books written by the authors of our own parenting views. Just like making friends, you will gain more if you have the same idea.
For example, my favorite parenting expert is Li Yueer, the founder of Ba Xueyuan, because she particularly emphasizes the cultivation of children's social skills. So I bought a set of her books directly, and the recommended ones are Key Help in the Critical Period, Who Misunderstood the Children's Behavior, Who Took the Children's Happiness, etc.
② Classic parenting books at home and abroad. Besides some practical parenting books, reading more classic parenting books will deepen our understanding of the deep-seated concept of children's education. Here I recommend Emile by Rousseau and Family Education by Mr. Chen Heqin, an expert in children's education in China.
3 practical parenting books. In addition to conceptual and empirical books, we can also learn some practical books in advance, especially in early childhood, how to feed correctly and how to eat complementary food, and give us some practical guidance. There are Sears Encyclopedia of Pregnancy, Sears Encyclopedia of Parenting and American Academy of Pediatrics Encyclopedia of Parenting.
Besides gaining all kinds of knowledge and experience through reading, reading more books can also improve a person's temperament. Especially after reading more books, my mother can improve her connotation. She is as light as a chrysanthemum and can treat everything with a normal heart.
Besides reading, the most recommended thing is to unlock writing skills. Some people may say, I can't write. In fact, this is a misunderstanding of writing. There are many kinds of writing. Recording children's growth and analyzing their own works is actually writing.
When my baby 16 months old, I started writing. Although I returned to the workplace at that time, I was particularly depressed because I was busy with family work and personal growth, especially when I encountered bottlenecks in the workplace. This bad mood has also affected my family.
I decided to start writing from July 20 19. The most important thing is to find a soothing outlet for your negative emotions, so that you can face your family and colleagues in a positive state. Of course, I also want to record the flash moment of the baby's growth.
The first article is about how to wean a baby, the second article is about giving advice to yourself in the workplace dilemma from the perspective of a bystander, the third article is about the sad course and personal experience of insisting on breastfeeding 16 months, and then there are the fourth and fifth articles ..... There have been more than 100 articles so far.
Through writing, I found the outlet of negative emotions and walked out of the workplace dilemma smoothly. Through writing, I accompany my baby attentively and record many interesting things during his growth. Through writing, I also realized the realization of writing, and bought books and toys for my baby for free with the manuscript fee.
As mentioned earlier, every mother has multiple roles, except for the workplace role, others are basically family roles and personal roles. If we can learn something that can improve our professional skills, career promotion will bring us money and a sense of accomplishment.
Another key point is personal interest. You should learn anything that interests you. Just like planting a tree, the best time is 10 years ago, followed by now. If you like baking, you can learn baking, if you like illustration, if you like fitness, you can go to fitness, do what you like, and enrich your heart.
The last one is family needs. If you learn just enough to contribute to your family, then this skill can make the whole family feel different warmth. Just like a stay-at-home mother in the same community, I used to take my children out on maternity leave and often met them.
She is particularly anxious because she has not been in contact with the social workplace for a long time. In particular, her husband often travels and often works overtime. Although he is not short of money, he often lacks love, and some people suffer from it. After the chat, I asked her if she had any dreams. She said that she had always wanted to open a cake shop, but as soon as her voice fell, she immediately said that it could not be realized now.
I said, why not? You can learn cake first. Just like I can't cook, I also took an online course to learn how to cook and make baby food supplements. After listening to it, she said she wanted to try. Today is her birthday, and she gave me a cake made by herself, which is very delicious.
Because she began to learn to make cakes, she became confident herself and stopped worrying about her husband's business trip and overtime. At the same time, because she learns to make cakes, her husband also wants her to be independent, busy and confident. In particular, she went to her son's kindergarten to teach children to make cakes, and his son was particularly proud to have such a mother.
Do what you are interested in. If you are interested in many things, take the needs of your family into account, so it is easier to get the support and understanding of your family. Everyone has his own things to do, and if he can do one thing well, he will become more and more confident.
"Lifelong growth" puts forward two main ways of thinking, one is fixed thinking and the other is growth thinking. People with fixed thinking are more accustomed to making excuses, while people with growing thinking are better at finding ways. Success is often temporary, but growth is lifelong. Finally, I hope we can all become people with growth thinking, persist in lifelong growth, and finally become people with our own light to create more shining moments.
About the author: Mi Le, who is with her mother, is a treasure mother in the post-80s workplace. She uses love to accompany her children to grow up, shares all kinds of fun and knowledge in the process of parenting and personal growth, and is committed to growing up with her children!