The school has started, and the progress bar of the school has started to move forward, but who is taking care of your baby during the summer vacation?

Recently, I asked parents around me that nearly 80% said that during the winter and summer vacations, children probably spent more than half of their time at grandparents' homes.

So how do children get along with their grandparents?

A mother summed it up like this: have plenty of food and clothing, and let yourself go.

Yes, so is Booker. He doesn't worry about eating and drinking at his grandparents' house. Because of the old man's love for his baby grandson, he is getting lazy. In the past, he could wash his socks, clean his room and have a summer vacation. These skills all disappear automatically.

Many parents should share my concerns, and they have worked hard to cultivate good habits of independence. When they are spoiled by grandparents, they can't take care of themselves when they come back.

Today, let's talk about "intergenerational education".

The last resort of office workers.

I used to oppose intergenerational education. On the one hand, I don't want to increase the burden on both parents. On the other hand, my parents have different educational concepts from mine. I want to influence my children with more advanced educational concepts, so I insist on taking care of my children for three years. Later, I learned that the ideal is full and the reality is very skinny.

These three years are really hard, no easier than working overtime.

Dad Xiang and I both have a difficult job. We are usually very busy and have to take care of the baby after work. Even with the help of a nanny, I feel powerless. A few times, I almost collapsed.

In fact, it is inevitable to take care of children from generation to generation, whether it is good or bad, whether it is in the north, Guangzhou, Shenzhen or the vast rural areas.

Even if you object again, when you have children, you will know how happy it is to have a trustworthy and experienced person to help you.

Faced with the enormous pressure of life, even if parents want to avoid bringing their children down from generation to generation, they don't have much power to carry it out.

Grandparents are more willing to enjoy the intimate relationship now.

Why do many parents disapprove of intergenerational education now?

Usually, the problem brought by intergenerational education is that grandparents don't have to bear the risk of educational failure, so they will enjoy the close relationship with their children more, while ignoring the cultivation of their children's good habits and ways of thinking in the future.

Even if grandparents have the intention to cultivate, their ideas are not as good as those of young parents.

Old people are very precious to their grandchildren and obedient to their children. The children live a leisurely life in the nursing home.

When asking children to turn off the TV and do their homework, don't forget to bring a sentence: "Your mother (father) told you not to play all the time, you should study hard!"

Remind children to study in the name of their parents. First, they should shock their children with the majesty of their parents. Second, don't bear the image of "the wicked" that affects children's watching TV.

Some parents will complain that their children are closer to their grandparents than to their parents, and worry that their influence on them will be weakened. In fact, the influence of parents on their children has always been there and will not be significantly weakened.

If a child is born, parents do not take the initiative to take on the task of eating, drinking and sleeping, paving the way for parent-child relationship, and just an old man can do all this well. When a child is one year old, he will regard the elderly as the main person to rely on, not the parents.

At this time, once the old man asks to go back to his hometown, the children will naturally be taken away together.

Even if the old people don't go back to their hometown, if their parents continue not to participate in their children's daily life, then even if they have strong feelings for their children, they will continue to be lazy and even more unwilling to take care of their children's affairs.

Over time, children will be emotionally alienated from their parents. This alienation is almost fatal to the parent-child relationship, which leads to many people's resistance to intergenerational education.

The responsibility of education should be borne by parents.

The main body of family education is parents, so as a parent, I must also take responsibility. When the children called me mom for the first time, I felt happy and satisfied, which also meant responsibility.

Indeed, in today's society, intergenerational education is inevitable, but it is not all a bad thing, depending on the situation.

In addition, whether the children are entirely raised by the elderly, including sharing a bed with the elderly, or whether they are only given to the elderly during the day, sent to school by the elderly, and taken care of by their parents at night and weekends. This requires a simple distinction between time and degree.

I have to say that this society places great hopes on women and wants them to earn money, gain economic independence and be a good wife and mother. Therefore, in China, the former is the case in most cases. The elderly are responsible for the children during the day, and the parents are responsible for the children at night and weekends.

As far as a family is concerned, if the mental state of the elderly is healthy and optimistic, the children are not much different. Even if the elderly help a little more, the children born in this family will not be taught as bullies by the elderly.

On the contrary, if the old people have problems with their own personality and knowledge, their children will inherit some very bad personalities, so these will also affect their children.

So it doesn't mean that there must be many children brought up by their parents.

But in the education of children, young people are more suitable than old people, not because they are better at raising children than old people, but because it is the responsibility and obligation of adults to raise their own children. On the other hand, young people are better at accepting new things and self-reflection than old people, which is the most favorable family factor for children's growth.

Companionship is the best childhood gift for children.

On the road of children's growth, parents must not be absent, and companionship is the best childhood gift for children.

A friend of mine is busy with work all day and often travels. Children are always taken care of by the elderly. On average, he doesn't see the children twice a week. On children's birthdays or Children's Day, he will give them an expensive gift. However, in a video, the child said to her with tears: Mom, I don't want any good gifts, I just want you to spend more time with me.

It is true that in today's society, intergenerational education is inevitable. If you want to avoid the unfavorable factors brought by intergenerational education, parents must use all possible time to get along with their children, study more actively and set a good example for their children.