My father-in-law's life is very interesting and meaningful. In the mid-1920s, my father-in-law was born in an ordinary peasant family in Huanghuai area in northern China. His father planted a few acres of thin land, and at the same time worked as a casual worker and porter for landlords with the same surname in the same village, while his mother took care of the housework. My brother is fourteen years older than him and is very sensible. When he was not very old, he began to consciously shoulder the burden of family with his father. After the Lugouqiao Incident, Japanese devils invaded North China and Huanghuai on a large scale. Like many rural families, my mother-in-law is anxious to marry her daughter so that she can have a place to live. In this way, the father-in-law under the age of twelve married his mother-in-law who was nearly five years older than him.
As the saying goes, the fifth year is the mother. This virtuous, beautiful, ingenious, capable and willing mother-in-law cares for and cherishes this little brother who will rely on her all her life, and pours all the women's nature, wife, and especially motherhood into him. This makes the father-in-law, who is the second child at home and still in his teens, gradually form a habit of accepting love, eating and sleeping on the kang when he gets home, and not worrying about housework, as well as a character of being aloof from the world and not being competitive. But he was born in an ordinary family rather than a rich family, so he is not lazy and has a smart brain. He stayed in a private school for several years, has a certain culture and is willing to do things. When he was young, he played abacus very well, which was a great thing in the eyes of ordinary people, so the district put him in charge of accounting counseling in forty or fifty villages in the whole district. He has read four books and five classics, with thousands of words and hundreds of surnames. His handwriting is very good and easy to read. At that time, he was a scholar, so people in the district (township) respected him and valued him. So I have been working in the district (township). Although he is not a formal cadre, he seldom eats and lives at home, and of course he seldom does farm work. He has never worked hard in his life. Therefore, the mother-in-law is the top leader inside and outside, and everything in the family is done by her mother-in-law.
My father-in-law usually doesn't talk much, and there is little smile on his face, but his expression is not dignified, but he is not kind. As a village cadre for many years, he never said "no" to some unreasonable demands and inappropriate things, but he had an old idea in his heart that he would not do it. He went to mediate family conflicts or neighborhood disputes, never preaching to others, but quoting classics, telling some old truths and giving some examples, which gradually influenced him. He won't leave until he admits his mistake and makes no sense.
My father-in-law is very hospitable. He worked in a district (township) when he was young. In middle age, he was the village head. He has made many friends. He often has superior leaders or colleagues and village cadres come home to talk about work and things. In most cases, he will stay at home to eat and make sure to get wine, but he is a poor man who drinks. He can drink half an ounce at most and has never been drunk in his life. He never greets guests at home, no matter whether there is a need to entertain guests at home or whether his mother-in-law is tired or not.
In the father-in-law's subconscious, the traditional color is very strong, which is also in line with the social and cultural psychology of people in that era. For example, male power. He never does housework at home. He reached for his hand with his mouth full of food. "The oil bottle fell, but he didn't help." When eating, you should hand him chopsticks and give him your rice bowl. He eats a bowl and cooks a good dish, so he can enjoy it alone. He "feels at ease" and his mother-in-law takes it for granted. He loves children, but he prefers boys to girls. He brought back a biscuit from outside, broke it off for his son and gave it to his two daughters. The two sisters didn't argue about how much money to give their younger brother, but they blushed for your conceit. Grandson is seven or eight years old and still pees, but he never holds his granddaughter. The pocket money is fifty cents for grandchildren and twenty cents for granddaughters. Although my granddaughter often complains about this, it doesn't help.
After her mother-in-law "ran away", the four brothers and sisters changed the way of raising her father-in-law, who lacked life experience and had poor self-care ability. Finally, she was sent to a nursing home for the elderly with five guarantees in rural areas, which was led by the government, sponsored by the civil administration and subsidized free of charge (there were also a few elderly people without five guarantees who supported themselves from their own pockets, and the father-in-law was such a case). He likes boxing and playing with swords. When he first started living in a nursing home, he thought it would be like1when he was the director of a nursing home in a township in the early 1990s, like when he participated in a sports fitness team for the elderly in the city at the beginning of this century-he was boxing in front, others followed, and people asked for advice from time to time. However, times have changed, and this time it is different. Time, place and personnel composition make it impossible to reproduce the situation of that year. In this regard, my father-in-law is not fully prepared and unhappy. I, a "discerning person", helped him make an analysis in time, and guided him to face up to the reality, enjoy it, obey the public, enjoy it and live a happy life. Only then did he gradually settle down.
My father-in-law living in a nursing home is not alone. The four brothers and sisters and the younger generation are lined up, and each person visits once a week, so that he can see his family every day. However, he is not "satisfied". He has a slight headache, fever and physical discomfort. When his family sent him to the hospital, he firmly believed that he would "have been in prison" and repeatedly asked the doctor to mobilize. "I stood still" until his family "took compulsory measures", and he had no choice but to leave the hospital. Because I live in the hospital, besides my family, many relatives visit me. Every day, a dozen people stand in front of my bed-what he wants is the feeling of you coming and going, and the stars holding the moon.
My father-in-law has never been a big official in his life, and the biggest "official" he has ever been is the village party secretary. He has no other experience, but he likes the feeling that his children and grandchildren are jostling in front of outsiders. This psychological need, especially after getting old, is more obvious. What he thinks is seldom made clear. Children and grandchildren rely on years of experience, carefully ponder his psychology and try their best to do what is in his heart.
My father-in-law is over eighty and lives with four brothers and sisters in turn. He wants nothing but clothes, food and shelter. Although he was diagnosed with lung cancer, according to the doctor, the old man's cancer cells developed slowly, and eventually he would not "walk" because of the disease, and he did not feel pain himself, which made his children feel some comfort. When I was at my house, my wife and I promised that someone would accompany him to chat and watch TV, let him drink a glass of water for an hour, cook him three meals a day, drink half a glass of wine for lunch every day, soak his feet once every two days, take a bath for him once a week, defecate more than ten times a day and change his underwear at any time. He often says he doesn't want to eat, so we try our best to make him eat. He is not good at actively communicating with others, so we will find a topic to chat with him for fun. He often talks about some old friends, so we will contact some of his old friends to come home, chat with him and have dinner together. He likes going to the opera, so we switched the TV to the opera channel. He likes Qatar, so we encourage him to play a video, show it on TV and post it on the Internet. When you wash his feet, he will say, "How can I repay you in the future?" . When you give him a bath, he will say, "You washed well, comfortably and carefully". You cook him good food, and he will bow his hand to thank you. You say "good morning" to him, tell him "this is to ask you good morning", and he responds to you loudly "good, good, good"! At that time, he sometimes understood and sometimes confused. When he is confused, he will regard Zhang San as Li Si and the younger generation as his elders. Some words in the past in ancient times will make people feel puzzled. Many words that are upside down, irrelevant and confused make people laugh, but his expression is serious, as if to say, "What's so funny about this?"
My brother-in-law said he was not really confused. I think getting old is like going back to childhood, so whether you are really confused or not is normal. The so-called "old child" is also.
Attachment: Speech at Mr. Zhu Lao's farewell ceremony
Leaders, distinguished guests, friends, relatives and fellow villagers,
Today, with great sadness, we deeply mourn my dear father-in-law, Mr. Zhu. Mr. Zhu Lao died in Jinxiu Qingcheng at the early morning of March 2, 20 13 (April 21 of the lunar calendar) 10: 32 at the age of 88.
Mr. Zhu Lao was born in Zhuzhuang Village on19x65438+10/7 (the fourth day of the twelfth lunar month). 88 years of dribs and drabs made a great good man-
He is a diligent and studious person. Although he only has a junior high school education, he studies hard and his literary accomplishment has reached the level of high school.
He is a diligent person. He taught himself. In the past Zhu Zhuang area, he was in charge of accounting consulting. Every village has left his footprints, and every team has its accountants.
He is a selfless person. As an old party member with the same party age as the Republic of China, he has been a village cadre for many years. Whether he is a deputy or a branch secretary, he thinks about work, the collective and the masses. He never cares about pay, is not afraid of losses, and is not greedy.
He is a man who promotes harmony. No matter who has contradictions and disputes in the village, he will be present in person, be emotional, be reasonable, criticize mistakes, safeguard justice, bring harmony to the family and unity to the neighborhood.
He is a warm-hearted person. As long as he is around, his family will feel that they have the backbone, and he will arrange things thoroughly, taking care of everything without any mistakes.
He is a man who respects the old and loves the young. Because his brother died young, he took on the burden of life for the whole family before he was 30 years old. He tried his best to support his parents, not only raising his own children, but also taking the children left by his brother as his own children and caring more about them. He kept in mind the sage's words, and the Zhu Zhuang Nursing Home, where he served as the dean, was one of the earliest rural nursing homes in the city, which not only allowed the five-guarantee elderly group to enjoy their old age, but also won glory and added color to Zhu Zhuang Township at that time.
He is a man who keeps pace with the times, his thoughts are not conservative, his hands and feet are open, and he is over sixty. He took an active part in fitness, led the elderly in the village, practiced Qigong with fists and swords, and performed Yangko in the city, which not only made him happy, but also made others happy.
He is a respected man and continues to study genealogy for his family. He went to Zibo in the east and Handan in the west, recovering from illness and treating diseases, carefully sorting out, working tirelessly and not afraid of sweating, which made the four-year genealogy of Xin brand-new and made new contributions to the cultural continuity of the Zhu family.
He is a gentle man. He never gets angry and anxious about people or things. He can keep a clear head in the face of major events, find ways in the face of difficult things, and hold his ground in the face of emergencies.
He is a man with an open mind. Although he unfortunately got cancer on 1984, he was open-minded, fearless, very calm, dare to face up to the disease, cooperate with the treatment, actively exercise, be optimistic and face life with a smile, which extended his life for more than 20 years.
Mr. Zhu Lao, an old man who worked, served, worked hard and devoted his whole life and was a good man all his life, finally collapsed, and all our descendants and relatives felt great sorrow. We sincerely thank all the leaders and comrades who visited my father-in-law in various ways during his serious illness and came to offer condolences after his death, as well as fellow villagers. We should inherit the spirit of his old man's house, work hard, live a good life, create new achievements and love to contribute to society.
Grandpa Zhu, please go all the way.