Text/Tian Hechen

I passed Changsha yesterday and decided to stay in this city for two days. Six years ago, I studied in this city. After a year and a half, I left school.

At that time, I thought, there is nothing worth missing here. I didn't want to come.

But when I stayed here again, I remembered someone.

The latest movie "Passing Through Your World" is very popular. On my first day in Changsha, I also went to the cinema. After watching this movie, I suddenly remembered him.

To be precise, I was thinking about his eyes.

His name is Cheng.

We passed by, not the whole world in the movie, not as hot as in the movie, and even the emotion never happened.

I can't tell you why. I used to have a good friend here, but at the moment, I just think of him. On the road of life, we will always meet all kinds of people, meet and say goodbye. But more encounters, no goodbye, no tears and no cherish.

At that time, they called me Swallow. He is my classmate, sitting diagonally behind me, two meters away from me.

We first met because the Woods in our class were chasing my roommate Lily.

That day, the Woods handed Lily a love letter and invited Lily to have dinner in the canteen. I was dragged to be a third wheel. I didn't want to leave at first, but I couldn't resist Lily's indecision. At that time, I thought, I just went to eat.

But unexpectedly, he also went.

I am against their so-called love, and think it is just hormonal agitation and superficiality. So I've been offline. I don't remember what Lily and Linzi said, but I remember what he said until now.

He said: "No one can deny the sincerity of liking a person at first. The urgency of wanting to be together is actually love. But whether love can resist the erosion of years is something that can only be determined after being together. "

And then we're not together. I have little contact with him.

I remember he loved to laugh at that time. He likes to wear a white shirt and glasses. He is very gentle.

But later, he should have been a sophomore. I can't remember when it started. He suddenly stopped laughing and became very silent.

When studying in the evening, my friend skipped class and went to play with her boyfriend. I was bored at my desk and accidentally looked at him. I found him lying on the table, too, wondering what he was thinking.

I'm suddenly curious. What's he thinking?

So I just stared at him, but I still couldn't figure out why he suddenly did it. Is it lovelorn? Or something at home? Still suffering from depression? I think it would be nice if I could read minds.

Thought of here, I suddenly feel a little funny.

Just when my mouth was just tilted up, he seemed to look at me doubtfully. Then he turned to look behind his eyes and saw that no one was there. He looked at me again.

It seems that after confirming that I am looking at him, his eyes are more confused.

But he didn't ask me, just looked at me so fixedly. Usually when a man looks at me like this, I will only be bored from the heart. They looked at me because I was beautiful. Some people only dare to sneak a look after I find them and pretend as if nothing has happened. Really naive. Some people will watch greedily, and when I find out, I will make a picture of hooligans, oh! Do you really think that men are not bad and women don't love them?

But this time, I don't have that kind of disgust.

We just looked at each other and whispered to each other in the classroom until the end of the evening study. As soon as the bell rang, I suddenly felt that time passed quickly.

Chat with friends on weekends and pretend to talk about him casually.

My friend thought for a moment and said, "Two months ago, I went back to school and saw him at the bus stop with a girl."

I said, "Is that girl from our school? Good-looking? "

The friend said, "I don't think so. Never seen it at school. It's beautiful. "

After a pause, she asked, "Why do you suddenly care about him? Isn't it? "

I interrupted what she was going to say. I think that must be his girlfriend. I have never seen him near any girl in this school.

I remember having dinner together in the canteen. He just greeted me politely without looking at me. At that time, he was very polite to everyone, but kept his distance from everyone.

He must be lovelorn. I thought about what the man who left him was like.

The sadness and loss in his eyes are so strong.

Does he love that girl very much? I thought the same thing.

Another night self-study, my friend dragged me to skip class and go out to surf the Internet. Anyway, there is no class teacher. Let's go! She said.

But we met him when we passed the teaching building. He just walked around and walked past us as if he didn't see us.

I followed my friend and looked at his back. At that glance, my heart missed a beat. So lonely, there is a voice in my heart saying.

"Swallow, what's wrong?" My friend suddenly took my hand and asked.

I said, "Nothing, why?"

My friend said, "I called you several times, but you didn't answer me." I thought you were lost. "

I suddenly wanted to go to the classroom to see him, so I lied and said, "Oh, there is something wrong with my stomach."

The friend said, "Why don't I accompany you to the dormitory to rest?"

I quickly said, "It's okay. You go to the Internet cafe, I'll just go back myself. "

The friend hesitated and said, "Do you really need me to accompany you?"

"Don't worry, come back early."

"Then I will come back and bring you delicious food."

Seeing my friend leave, I turned and walked towards the teaching building. I walked slowly, with an indescribable taste in my heart. But I really don't know what this feeling is. Didn't I think of the unfinished sentence that my friend was interrupted by me that day?

No way! I shook my head. Love? Oh! Is there any reliable love in this world? Now that I think about it, maybe his eyes remind me of myself when I was a child. I used to have that expression of injustice, sadness and even despair. Once, I was abandoned. My mother and I were abandoned by my father, and he was abandoned by his girlfriend.

Unconsciously, I walked to the door of the classroom. There are still few people. Those who don't come are either bathed in love or die in the online world.

He sat there, staring at the book. When I sat in my seat, he looked up at me, but only once.

I took a book at random, and then I lay prone on the table and looked at him with my head tilted. He is not too handsome, but he is angular, with regular facial features and special charm. I found that just watching him quietly was no longer boring. Maybe I'm too blunt. This time, it didn't take him long to notice that I was looking at him.

Looking at his inexplicable expression, I giggled. He is really different. If the other boys in the class saw me looking at him like this, they would have been unable to hold back their inner ecstasy, right? But he just looked puzzled. Even before the breakup, he didn't look at me very much. I kind of envy his ex-girlfriend. What kind of girl is that? Why did you leave him?

When I came to my senses, he still looked at me coldly.

He must be wondering why I stare at him.

I'm sure his love can't resist the erosion of time.

Before I left Changsha, we looked at each other 26 times, but during this time, we didn't say a word. Eye contact is mostly in self-study at night, and occasionally in class. It was the seventh time that he looked me in the eye safely from doubt to inexplicably.

That day, one of my favorite teachers gave a lecture. I really don't understand why people with such nonstandard Mandarin can be teachers. The first time I listened to her lecture, I completely collapsed. I asked my deskmate, did the teacher just say "old fat"? The smile at the same table is actually a "brain circuit".

I haven't listened to her lecture since then. Fail the exam I think.

I was bored lying on the table, and when I turned around, I found him lying on the table, turning a pen.

I smiled and he smiled back at me. He really looks good when he smiles. But this time, I understood his eyes.

His eyes are talking, so you don't understand.

We looked at each other safely, and we couldn't hear the teacher's local Mandarin or the students' chatter. At that moment, the whole classroom seemed to be just the two of us.

But this feeling was quickly destroyed by the students behind. Maybe that classmate thought I was looking at him, so he fiddled with his hair and cast a handsome look.

I rolled my eyes and turned away.

Later, even if the class was boring, I wouldn't stare at him too much. So as not to let the students behind have any association.

If I hadn't left school, maybe we could sit together and talk about each other's past.

In our life, we will meet many people. Some people may just pass by, some people may accompany us through a journey, but these people will eventually disappear into the vast sea of people and there is no news. There are few people who can accompany us all our lives.

If I hadn't left, perhaps, it was friendship, and we would be the one who will accompany me for life.

And love, I don't know.

On the first night in Changsha, a classmate pulled me into a classmate group. They are talking about the film Passing by Your World with great interest. I had nothing to do, so I bought a movie ticket. When I came out of the cinema, I found that the owner had pulled another person into the group.

I checked the team members and found it was him.

Looking at his head, I think of him.

To be exact, I remember his eyes.

Next: Everything about swallows.

I stayed in Changsha for seven years. It is said that loving a person will itch for seven years, and I found that loving a city will itch for seven years.

I came to study in this city, graduated from this city and stayed in this city to work. I thought I would live here with my favorite person, but I didn't.

Like a gust of wind, she brought me here and left alone.

I have been thinking that if one day, she suddenly comes back to me and I have left. I know this may be difficult to achieve, but I still think so. What if?

But she didn't come back Until now, when I wanted to leave here, she didn't come back.

Recently, there was a very popular movie, which was adapted from Zhang Jiajia's Passing Through Your World. I read that book a few years ago, but today, I bought a ticket to read it. To tell you the truth, I am very dissatisfied with the director's expression. That grandiose love is not romantic, but his own fantasy.

Our love has never been so weak as dust, nor will it be magnified before the eyes of the world. People come and go in a hurry, how can you feel the desolation you have?

One day, I will leave this city. I have seen the sunrise here and the sunset here. I've seen people passing through neon-lit streets, and I've heard the wind blowing leaves under the shade of Yuelu Mountain. But two days later, everything here no longer has anything to do with me.

Walking out of the cinema, I took out my mobile phone and found myself being pulled into a WeChat group founded by a college roommate. I checked the members of the group, and less than half of them didn't know who it was. When I wanted to quit, I saw a man's head.

She is a swallow.

Looking like her four years ago, I stood in front of a crowded cinema and suddenly thought of her.

I came to study in this city seven years ago. At that time, they called me Cheng. It was also at that time that I met the swallow.

The first image she gave me was beautiful and a little arrogant. At that time, I was still with my girlfriend, the person I thought we would always be together. A year later, she left me and never came back.

I thought I wouldn't meet the little swallow, although she is very beautiful.

When we love someone, that person becomes the whole world in our eyes and hearts. I loved someone, and that person was my world at that time.

Then that man left, and my world collapsed. I was silent for a long time, and it was then that I suddenly began to have an intersection with the swallow.

But that's just a crossroads. At that intersection, we didn't enter each other's world and had no feelings. Even we didn't say a word.

But at the moment, I think of her, or her eyes.

We met for the first time because my roommate Linzi wanted to chase after Lily in our class. On that day, Li Lin asked me to help him write a love letter to Julie and invited her to eat in the canteen. I thought I would be fine if I wrote a love letter for me, but in the end he dragged me to be a third wheel.

When we arrived at the canteen, Lily hadn't arrived yet. When the Woods went to order food, Lily came and the swallow was by her side.

I smiled at them, pointed to the forest where I ordered, and said, "He went to order. Please sit down for a while. "

When Woods came over after ordering, they were very happy to see Lily.

But lily is a little embarrassed. Obviously, I did become a third wheel. The swallow sitting opposite me is also a little embarrassed.

Swallow didn't say anything, so I had to say, "Just think of us as real light bulbs, and say anything."

Swallows and I eat by ourselves, and really always treat ourselves as a third wheel without saying a word.

After dinner, Lily obviously hesitated. I know what she is hesitating about. Obviously, two people who have only known each other for a short time cannot rise to the height of love.

I didn't like the way Woods scratched his ears and cheeks, so I said, "No one can deny the sincerity of liking a person at first. The urgency of wanting to be together is actually love. But whether love can resist the erosion of years is something that can only be determined after being together. "

When I said this, the swallow gave me an approving look.

Linzi and Lily didn't end up together. That day, Linzi bought all the beer left in the school store, and several of our roommates were drunk.

In the following year, I had little contact with swallows.

Until I broke up with my girlfriend. I became depressed at that time and didn't want to say anything. But except for silence, everything is as usual.

Class, class, eating, sleeping. In fact, I don't want to think about anything, but the past is always repeated over and over again in my dreams.

I thought life was long, and it was nothing to waste some. But at that time, I felt that my life was really short. In just a few years, I have finished my life.

That night, when I was studying by myself, I was staring blankly at my desk. I used to think, think about the past and think about the future when I was in a daze. Life is so long and the world is so big, don't spend it lightly. But that day, I didn't know what I should think.

The more I don't know what I'm thinking, the more bored I feel. When I was getting more and more upset, I suddenly saw the swallow lying on her desk looking at me, smiling at her mouth. I was a little confused. I turned around and looked behind my eyes and found that there was no one there.

When I turned around and found that she was still looking over here, I realized that she was really looking at me.

So I'm even more confused. Why is she looking at me?

But I don't want to talk, and I don't want to ask if there are any flowers on her face. Seeing her lying motionless on the table looking at me, I just sat and looked at her.

Swallows are beautiful, tall and fair-skinned. But at this time, I really didn't realize that kind of beauty. I used to be full of girlfriends, so I didn't have time to appreciate them. I'm so bored now that I can't see such beautiful scenery. When I first looked at her, her eyes were still smiling. What is she thinking?

I have always felt that she is a proud girl, not so close to others, and occasionally I feel that she will show some loneliness, as if no one can walk into her heart.

We looked at each other like this, and I didn't understand how time passed so quickly until the self-study the next night. When I looked into her eyes, I seemed to forget my boredom.

But this is only a temporary solution, not a permanent cure. This evening self-study, she made me briefly forget those things that made me sad. But after studying at night, those emotions came back.

I'm still sad and lost. My friend comforted me, and I forced a smile and said nothing. But how can you say nothing?

Love is like a swamp, the deeper it sinks, the harder it is to extricate itself.

I was immersed in this world and didn't see the scenery I encountered in the real world.

My friends saw me like this and dragged me to the gym to meet new girls. But after going once, I'm not in the mood to go again.

When studying at night, I still go to the classroom alone in a daze. I think there will be more people in the classroom so that I won't feel lonely. But what I didn't expect was that there were not many people studying at night. I had to take out my books and force myself to study. But the book is on the table, and I am in a daze.

The swallow is coming again. I glanced at her while she was sitting in her seat. It's just a glance, but it's blank in front of me.

Not long after I fell into this blank, I always felt that someone was watching me. I thought it was a teacher, but I looked up and found it was a swallow.

She looked at me at my desk again. I'm a little puzzled. Is this the second time? She looked at me directly. What is she thinking?

I thought, don't ... Oh! Love, how can I think about love again? The man I thought would go bald together won't come back after all, will he? But I still hope she will come back. How can I think about whether there will be other love at this time?

Thought of here, my heart is heavier.

I looked at the girl who was only two meters away from me with a straight face. Her eyes are beautiful, and she smiles like the moon.

What does all this have to do with me?

What the hell was she thinking?

But I finally don't know what she's thinking. After the end of this semester, she left school. No one knows why she left and where she went.

I looked at her quietly, but didn't say a word to each other. At first, I was a little confused and wondered what she was thinking, but I really couldn't think of it and I wasn't in the mood to ask her. Later, when she looked at me again, she simply didn't want anything.

That day, it was a teacher I hated most. The first time I listened to her lecture, I always collapsed and couldn't understand what she was saying. When she was talking about brain circuits, I asked my roommate sitting in front of me, "What did she just talk about' old fat'?"

The roommate said, "What's old fat?"? She is talking about the brain circuit. "

I completely collapsed, and Lian Bi fell to the ground without knowing it. I really don't understand why a person with such nonstandard Mandarin can be a teacher. Don't all teachers have to take the Putonghua test?

Since then, I have never listened to her class. Self-study, I think.

I taught myself the contents of the book at my desk with a pen in my hand. Suddenly I saw the swallow lying on the table and turned to look at me.

Maybe I look funny. She smiled at me and I smiled back at her.

This time, I understood her eyes.

Her eyes are talking, so you don't understand.

I looked at her, the teacher's voice was lost, and the noise of classmates whispering was lost. At that moment, it seemed that there were only two of us left in the world.

But this moment didn't last long. She rolled her eyes and turned away.

Before I began to think about what happened, I heard a burst of laughter behind me. I turned my head and saw my classmate sitting behind me.

So I turned around and said nothing.

Later, she seldom looked back at me in class. Even if you look back, it's just a quick glance and a look with me.

If she hadn't left school, maybe we would sit together and talk about each other.

But she left and disappeared into the invisible sky. In those years, we accompanied each other with our eyes. Although there are no words, we can soothe each other's hearts more than a thousand words.

If she hadn't left, maybe we would have become good friends. ...

But the past is like the wind, and everything is gone. One day, I will leave, which has nothing to do with me.

I exhaled, ready to follow the crowd out of the theater.

Just a few steps away, I saw a figure in the crowd.

End—

I am with the dust, I only wish that in this world, I am still me, and you are still you.