Two. Three stupid things in life: one. Reasoning with the boss.
Second, reason with your mother.
3. reason with your wife.
The pollution in Beijing is serious, primary and secondary schools are on holiday, but adults have to go to work normally. This tells us: cherish your school days, because once you grow up, you can't be regarded as an individual.
I drank a cup of espresso at Starbucks in the evening, and now I can't sleep. Old and expensive, it hurts to think about it.
5. Go to the hospital for a physical examination. In front of me, a girl with visual inspection 170 kg took a report saying that her blood lipid was thick. Sister said: No wonder I weigh 180 kg. It turns out that my blood is heavy. I ....
6. A school scum fell in love early and was called to the office by the class teacher to talk. After several hours of gradual enlightenment and persuasion, the class teacher finally understood the reason why he had been unable to find a girlfriend in his thirties.
7. The most classic sentence my mother said is: I have bad luck in my life. I met you two liars! Your dad cheated on you! You cheat money!
Eight. Today, I trained my dog at home. After the training, my husband walked over and said to the dog earnestly, "Oh, how dare you fight with the tiger?" You are just a dog. "
Teacher: You are not active in your studies. Why is the person you are talking to so active? You should be as active as you study, and your grades will not be like this. Xiao Ming: Teacher, you are single. Let me see if you're chasing nine people at once.
Get up with Tenuto in the morning and say to my mother, "I'll buy a pair of sunglasses tomorrow to cover my ugliness!" " My mother directly replied to me: "There are not enough sunglasses. It is almost enough to buy a helmet. "
Eleven. A girl broke up with her boyfriend, and her classmates comforted her: "What's so good about that man? He is a civil engineer. As soon as you listen, you will know that he is both "rustic" and "wooden!" Hearing this, the male student of software engineering next to him felt cold all over.
12. Reasoning with your lover shows that you don't want to love; I don't want to reason with my wife; Reasoning with colleagues, don't want to mix; Reasoning with the boss, you don't want to work? Revelation: There are many unreasonable places in this world, so don't be unreasonable about anything.
Thirteen. Brush your teeth in the morning. My daughter wants to use my toothpaste. I said, "You can't use it. You are still young. You have to use the baby's toothpaste. " My daughter gave me a cold look and said, "Do I mention my baby cream to you every day?"
14. There are a group of great candidates in the college entrance examination. They know that their grades are poor and they can't afford to go to college, but they still insist on the college entrance examination. They just want to lower your grades and let you go to a good school. This spirit of self-sacrifice is worth buying a bottle of AD calcium milk for someone who has been admitted to you!
15. There is a reading question on the primary school Chinese test paper to the effect that a mother suffered a lot for her children and finally died. After reading, ask the students to say a few words to their mother in Tomb-Sweeping Day one year later. A pupil wrote: "I wish my mother Tomb-Sweeping Day happiness, happiness as the East China Sea and longevity as the South Mountain!"
Sixteen years old. In the evening, we played mobile phones together in bed, and a roommate called his wife. All kinds of nausea, so I asked loudly: "What about calling me a daughter-in-law?" "Well, call my daughter-in-law." "Which daughter-in-law!" Then, then there is no then!
Seventeen. Mid-autumn friends invite everyone to drink. After a full meal, he said, "I have been married for less than three years and have changed five mother-in-laws!" " We all gave him a thumbs-up sign. "You are really good!" . The friend shook his head and said, "No, it's my father-in-law!" " "
18. I ordered a KFC takeaway on a whim and told the customer service that I hoped to deliver it quickly, or I would starve to death. Results 15 minute delivery, and the tragedy happened after paying the money. The customer's message column on the document is printed directly: deliver the goods quickly, and the customer will starve to death.
19. Mom told me: You can't sleep with your shoes on. Only the dead wear shoes to sleep! I wonder: at this rate, isn't more than half of the people in our class dead? The key is cheating after class!
20. I brought back a rooster from my hometown. I was about to kill it. My wife said she wanted it, so I gave it to her. I saw her with a chicken neck and a knife in her hand! Ten minutes later, the chicken was strangled alive ... She told me that the knife was taken to distract the chicken. 2 1. Zhu Yuanzhang found eight people and established the Ming Dynasty. Jesus found 12 disciples to establish Christianity, one of the largest religions in the world; Ma Yun found 18 people and established the world's largest e-commerce empire; Confucius found 72 disciples and established Confucianism that influenced the whole world! I found three people. Guess what? Don't go to bed after drinking for two days!
22. One day, a drunken man got drunk, came home, ran straight to the pigsty and slept with the pigs. He said, "Daughter-in-law, why don't you take off your sweater when you sleep at night!" "
23. In the second day of junior high school, the teacher asked to write a composition entitled "My deskmate". As a result, a male classmate in the class wrote: "My deskmate's hair is black and bright, just like a cow. When a fly falls, it will flash!"
A teacher said: The sentence of naked marriage: I have no car, no money, no house and no diamond ring, but I have a heart to accompany you to your old age. Its degree of unreliability is similar to: although I didn't study, attend classes, review or do problems, I have an unyielding heart. The biggest misunderstanding about love is that love is omnipotent.
25. You go to the gym every day. You must not have a girlfriend. You play the guitar so well. You must have failed many courses in college. You have been to so many countries. You must not have a formal job. You have achieved so much at such a young age. Your parents must be working hard. You must wash the car every day You must not have an underground garage. You know so much news and information. You must be free at work.